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Downloaded from
YTS.MX

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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX

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- Stop it!
- Dude, how sick is this?

4
00:01:04,250 --> 00:01:06,333
We're gonna die!
We're gonna die!

5
00:01:09,458 --> 00:01:12,041
Oh, mama!

6
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:23,625
Pass the ball!

7
00:01:27,625 --> 00:01:28,791
All right, guys, bring it in.

8
00:01:28,916 --> 00:01:29,791
All right,
come on, come on, come on,

9
00:01:29,916 --> 00:01:31,125
Get in here. Huddle up.

10
00:01:31,250 --> 00:01:32,875
We got a minute left here, okay?
We are tied up.

11
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,000
Lucas, whe--where are you?

12
00:01:34,125 --> 00:01:35,416
- Lucas, where are you?
- I'm right here, Dad.

13
00:01:35,541 --> 00:01:36,708
- Go, Lucas!
- Get in here.

14
00:01:36,833 --> 00:01:37,666
- You're on the team. Let's go.
- Come on.

15
00:01:37,791 --> 00:01:39,041
You're kidding.
He sucks.

16
00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:40,625
Nobody covered him
in the second quarter.

17
00:01:40,750 --> 00:01:42,333
I'm getting triple teamed
out there.

18
00:01:42,458 --> 00:01:44,375
Well, you know what?
Then I'll tell you what. Um--

19
00:01:44,500 --> 00:01:46,083
Dude,
have you even played lacrosse?

20
00:01:46,208 --> 00:01:47,416
Just cold play, loser.

21
00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:49,416
Okay, fine. You know what--
that's a play.

22
00:01:49,541 --> 00:01:50,583
We're gonna get
the ball to Lucas.

23
00:01:50,708 --> 00:01:52,500
- What, are you high?
- Yes, that's the plan.

24
00:01:52,625 --> 00:01:53,541
Lucas, you're gonna take
the shot.

25
00:01:53,666 --> 00:01:54,666
We're gonna win
this thing, okay?

26
00:01:54,791 --> 00:01:55,875
Let's get in there.
What do you say?

27
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,041
- I say we're gonna lose.
- I don't care.

28
00:01:57,166 --> 00:01:58,583
Let's win this thing
as a team, guys.

29
00:01:58,708 --> 00:01:59,875
- This is bullshit.
- Let's go, guys.

30
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,458
Let's go.
We are heroes.

31
00:02:01,583 --> 00:02:03,083
Dad, are you sure about this?

32
00:02:03,208 --> 00:02:05,083
I mean, everyone's just gonna
be pissed off at me

33
00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:06,166
if I mess this up.

34
00:02:06,291 --> 00:02:07,416
Maybe I should just go
sit on the bench.

35
00:02:07,541 --> 00:02:09,125
Sit on the bench?

36
00:02:09,250 --> 00:02:11,208
Buddy, you are set up
for the hero moment.

37
00:02:11,333 --> 00:02:12,750
When we watch
those sports movies,

38
00:02:12,875 --> 00:02:15,208
and it comes down
to those final few seconds,

39
00:02:15,333 --> 00:02:17,250
and everything turns
to slow motion,

40
00:02:17,375 --> 00:02:19,291
that's where the hero emerges.

41
00:02:19,416 --> 00:02:21,208
Whoa!

42
00:02:21,333 --> 00:02:23,541
Everything slows down,
and they make the shot,

43
00:02:23,666 --> 00:02:24,958
and it's victory!

44
00:02:25,083 --> 00:02:26,250
And they throw 'em
on their shoulders,

45
00:02:26,375 --> 00:02:27,375
and they're going crazy.

46
00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:28,958
The girls are gonna be
“Lucas, Lucas!”

47
00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:30,041
That's how we win.

48
00:02:30,166 --> 00:02:31,125
- All right.
- All right?

49
00:02:31,250 --> 00:02:32,166
- Let's do it.
- Let's make it happen.

50
00:02:33,708 --> 00:02:34,625
I love you, Dad.

51
00:02:34,750 --> 00:02:36,083
Okay, sshh.
Hey, maybe lower.

52
00:02:36,208 --> 00:02:37,083
This, this is sports.
We don't--

53
00:02:37,208 --> 00:02:39,333
we kind of--
it's already assumed.

54
00:02:39,458 --> 00:02:41,125
It's assumed.

55
00:02:42,541 --> 00:02:43,833
Lucas!

56
00:02:45,708 --> 00:02:47,041
All right, please, yes.

57
00:02:48,166 --> 00:02:49,208
Oh, please.

58
00:02:49,333 --> 00:02:51,250
Please, God.
Please.

59
00:02:52,416 --> 00:02:53,250
Yes!

60
00:02:53,375 --> 00:02:54,208
Oh, my God!

61
00:02:54,333 --> 00:02:55,583
Lucas, go!

62
00:02:55,708 --> 00:02:57,583
Eye of the tiger!

63
00:02:59,166 --> 00:03:00,333
What the hell is he doing?

64
00:03:01,875 --> 00:03:03,625
Why is he moving
in slow motion?

65
00:03:03,750 --> 00:03:04,708
I might have told him to.

66
00:03:09,083 --> 00:03:11,416
No! He had no right!

67
00:03:11,541 --> 00:03:13,125
- No way!
- You suck, Lucas.

68
00:03:13,250 --> 00:03:14,708
You're okay.
He's okay.

69
00:03:14,833 --> 00:03:16,291
You just got the wind
knocked out of ya.

70
00:03:16,416 --> 00:03:17,416
He got the wind
knocked out of him.

71
00:03:17,541 --> 00:03:19,083
He's fine.
Gonna come back quick.

72
00:03:19,208 --> 00:03:21,208
Help me.

73
00:03:22,750 --> 00:03:25,041
Maybe lacrosse isn't his thing?

74
00:03:25,166 --> 00:03:27,541
I mean, maybe he's just not
a sports kind of kid at all.

75
00:03:28,958 --> 00:03:31,416
{\an8}<i>♪ Four leaf clover
won't you come over ♪</i>

76
00:03:31,541 --> 00:03:34,458
{\an8}<i>♪ Baby, give me a chance ♪</i>

77
00:03:34,583 --> 00:03:36,333
{\an8}Look, playing a sport
is important to him.

78
00:03:36,458 --> 00:03:37,625
I mean, this is all I know.

79
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:39,000
This is what I did.

80
00:03:39,125 --> 00:03:41,625
I--I connected with my father
through sports.

81
00:03:41,750 --> 00:03:45,041
Oh, honey, I know this whole
new stepdad thing can't be easy

82
00:03:45,166 --> 00:03:46,916
and I love that you're trying
so hard to connect with him.

83
00:03:47,041 --> 00:03:48,375
I really, I really am.

84
00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:49,958
You and Lucas will find
your thing too,

85
00:03:50,083 --> 00:03:51,875
but you just gotta give it time.

86
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,583
You can't force it.

87
00:03:53,708 --> 00:03:55,208
Come here. I love you.

88
00:03:55,333 --> 00:03:56,166
I love you.

89
00:03:57,708 --> 00:03:59,458
Yo, Hunt. We'll get ‘em
next time, huh, bro?

90
00:03:59,583 --> 00:04:00,666
Don't call me “bro,” dude.

91
00:04:00,791 --> 00:04:01,750
Don't call me “dude,” son.

92
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:02,833
Don't call me “son,” bitch.

93
00:04:02,958 --> 00:04:04,958
- I'm not a bitch, you're a--
- Oh my God, stop.

94
00:04:09,125 --> 00:04:10,125
You okay?

95
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,833
Yeah, fine, it's just...

96
00:04:11,958 --> 00:04:13,500
By the way, how long does
it take Lucas to take a leak?

97
00:04:13,625 --> 00:04:14,541
Oh, can you check on him
for me?

98
00:04:14,666 --> 00:04:16,583
He gets bladder shy.

99
00:04:16,708 --> 00:04:18,000
Yeah.

100
00:04:19,541 --> 00:04:21,041
Oh, shit.
It's Pukas.

101
00:04:21,166 --> 00:04:22,750
What's up, Pukas?

102
00:04:22,875 --> 00:04:25,583
Look, I'm sorry if I did
anything to piss you guys off.

103
00:04:25,708 --> 00:04:28,333
Honestly, I--I just want it
to be cool between us.

104
00:04:28,458 --> 00:04:29,583
Oh, shit.

105
00:04:29,708 --> 00:04:31,458
Hey! Don't touch him.

106
00:04:31,583 --> 00:04:32,625
Daddy's here.

107
00:04:33,958 --> 00:04:35,958
Let's go, Lucas.

108
00:04:36,083 --> 00:04:37,125
Let me tell you something.

109
00:04:37,250 --> 00:04:38,375
You touch him again,
I come back here,

110
00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:39,958
I personally kick
every one of your asses.

111
00:04:40,083 --> 00:04:41,208
Every one, every ass.

112
00:04:41,333 --> 00:04:42,666
I kick it, you understand?

113
00:04:42,791 --> 00:04:45,083
Just let's go, Lucas.
Come on.

114
00:04:45,208 --> 00:04:47,458
Do you understand what you guys
almost got into?

115
00:04:47,583 --> 00:04:49,250
Do you have any idea
the annihilation

116
00:04:49,375 --> 00:04:50,291
that would have
taken place here?

117
00:04:50,416 --> 00:04:51,500
Annihilation.
Wait, you want to go?

118
00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:52,958
You feeling frisky?
You want to go?

119
00:04:53,083 --> 00:04:54,750
You know what?
I'll go.

120
00:04:54,875 --> 00:04:55,791
- Hm?
- You want to go?

121
00:04:55,916 --> 00:04:56,833
- Let's go.
- How old are you?

122
00:04:56,958 --> 00:04:57,875
What the hell
where'd you come from?

123
00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,000
- Let's go.
- I don't--

124
00:04:59,125 --> 00:05:00,000
I'm not saying
I don't want to go.

125
00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:01,375
I'm just saying we can go.

126
00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:03,458
Stop talking shit
and just do it, old man.

127
00:05:03,583 --> 00:05:04,875
- Hit me.
- Bring the voice down.

128
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,166
Okay, we're in a locker room.
It's a lot of acoustics.

129
00:05:06,291 --> 00:05:07,458
You just said you could kick
all our asses.

130
00:05:07,583 --> 00:05:08,833
I know.
I haven't even eaten yet.

131
00:05:08,958 --> 00:05:10,375
We have reservations
at Benihana.

132
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:12,166
You know where they do
the smoking volcano thing

133
00:05:12,291 --> 00:05:13,250
with the runyons.

134
00:05:13,375 --> 00:05:15,041
It's fine.
Let's go, Lucas man.

135
00:05:15,166 --> 00:05:17,083
Go. Just...
better watch it next time.

136
00:05:17,208 --> 00:05:18,750
Yeah.

137
00:05:19,958 --> 00:05:20,916
All right.

138
00:05:21,041 --> 00:05:21,916
What's that kid's name anyway?

139
00:05:22,041 --> 00:05:23,333
- Kurt.
- Kurt.

140
00:05:23,458 --> 00:05:24,500
Freaking Kurt.

141
00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:26,166
Do you realize
how... how--how

142
00:05:26,291 --> 00:05:27,583
- that would have went down?
- Oh, yeah.

143
00:05:27,708 --> 00:05:28,541
I would have kicked
all their asses.

144
00:05:28,666 --> 00:05:30,041
- Yeah, definitely.
- Yeah.

145
00:05:30,166 --> 00:05:31,625
Now, I should go back there.
I'm gonna go back there.

146
00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:33,375
- No, no, no, no.
- He's probably not there, right?

147
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,791
- I mean, I'm gonna--
- It's fine, Dad.

148
00:05:34,916 --> 00:05:36,250
I should just close
this shit out, man.

149
00:05:36,375 --> 00:05:37,625
- This is crazy.
- No, no, no, no.

150
00:05:37,750 --> 00:05:38,791
It's--it's fine, Dad.

151
00:05:38,916 --> 00:05:41,083
I'm used to it.

152
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:42,250
What do you mean
you're used to it?

153
00:05:42,375 --> 00:05:43,666
That's not...

154
00:05:43,791 --> 00:05:45,333
see, that's not something
you should be used to.

155
00:05:45,458 --> 00:05:46,750
How often does this happen?

156
00:05:46,875 --> 00:05:49,041
Uh, every day.

157
00:05:51,375 --> 00:05:53,250
I mean, there's no way
for him to escape.

158
00:05:53,375 --> 00:05:54,750
Did you know it was this bad?

159
00:05:54,875 --> 00:05:57,000
No. What should we do?

160
00:05:57,125 --> 00:05:58,583
Nothing now,
because I slammed it down.

161
00:05:58,708 --> 00:06:00,458
I shut it, you know?
I took care of things.

162
00:06:00,583 --> 00:06:02,125
I nipped it in
the bud, you know? So--

163
00:06:02,250 --> 00:06:04,166
You got to call the school
and the principal right away.

164
00:06:04,291 --> 00:06:05,333
What? No.
You can't do that.

165
00:06:05,458 --> 00:06:06,583
Then he's a rat.

166
00:06:06,708 --> 00:06:08,333
You saw <i>The Departed.</i>
He'll get whacked.

167
00:06:08,458 --> 00:06:12,000
Brian, you're his dad now.

168
00:06:12,125 --> 00:06:14,083
This is something a dad
needs to handle.

169
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:16,791
You're right.
You're right.

170
00:06:16,916 --> 00:06:19,875
I...Hey, look at me.

171
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,916
I promise you I'll never let
anything bad happen to him.

172
00:06:22,041 --> 00:06:23,666
All right?

173
00:06:23,791 --> 00:06:25,500
- All right.
- I gotta get back to work.

174
00:06:25,625 --> 00:06:27,791
When I get back, we'll take care
of this, all right?

175
00:06:27,916 --> 00:06:30,708
Hey, no more bullies.

176
00:06:30,833 --> 00:06:32,125
Kick his ass!

177
00:06:32,250 --> 00:06:33,625
- Please get off!
- Oh, oh!

178
00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:35,000
Get him, you little bitch!

179
00:06:35,125 --> 00:06:36,708
Dude, I got five grand on you!

180
00:06:36,833 --> 00:06:37,875
Go, go!

181
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,500
C--Claire said
you wanted to see me?

182
00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:40,916
Hey, buddy.

183
00:06:41,041 --> 00:06:42,333
Yeah, come on in.

184
00:06:42,458 --> 00:06:44,291
Just, uh, just grab--
grab a seat.

185
00:06:44,416 --> 00:06:45,375
- Go! Go!
- You can do it!

186
00:06:45,500 --> 00:06:46,458
Believe in yourself!

187
00:06:46,583 --> 00:06:49,125
Yeah! Whoo!

188
00:06:49,250 --> 00:06:50,708
Pay up, [indistinct].

189
00:06:51,833 --> 00:06:53,125
Hey, so listen.

190
00:06:53,250 --> 00:06:54,833
The Pfizer thing.

191
00:06:54,958 --> 00:06:56,416
You're gonna straighten out
those numbers, right?

192
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:58,416
Well, I mean, the numbers
are what the numbers are.

193
00:06:58,541 --> 00:06:59,625
First of all,
don't yell at me.

194
00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:01,083
Okay, then.
I didn't think I was yelling.

195
00:07:01,208 --> 00:07:03,125
Sounded like yelling.

196
00:07:03,250 --> 00:07:04,541
Numbers are a little tight,
dawg,

197
00:07:04,666 --> 00:07:06,166
so just make them a little
loosey-goosey, you know?

198
00:07:06,291 --> 00:07:07,333
Well, I mean,
if we loosen them up--

199
00:07:07,458 --> 00:07:09,208
Hey, calm down.

200
00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:10,625
If we loosen them up,

201
00:07:10,750 --> 00:07:14,416
then what you're gonna do
is you're basically,

202
00:07:14,541 --> 00:07:15,833
you're asking me
to commit fraud.

203
00:07:15,958 --> 00:07:16,791
What?!

204
00:07:16,916 --> 00:07:18,208
Whoa.

205
00:07:18,333 --> 00:07:21,125
Listen, Dad is gonna flip out
if he sees these numbers.

206
00:07:21,250 --> 00:07:22,583
Bro, you can't let Dad
flip out.

207
00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:24,333
You can't let Dad flip out.

208
00:07:24,458 --> 00:07:26,458
I mean, he's not--
he's not my dad.

209
00:07:26,583 --> 00:07:28,083
- What?!
- How dare you!

210
00:07:28,208 --> 00:07:29,291
You shut your face!

211
00:07:29,416 --> 00:07:30,416
Let me ask you something.

212
00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:32,958
How do you think
this is going?

213
00:07:33,083 --> 00:07:33,916
Well, I thought it was going
better when I first--

214
00:07:34,041 --> 00:07:35,958
That's not a question.

215
00:07:36,083 --> 00:07:37,833
But here's the answer:
You're fired!

216
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,458
My dad always hated you.

217
00:07:39,583 --> 00:07:40,750
Okay.

218
00:07:42,833 --> 00:07:43,791
<i>♪ Big booty bitches ♪</i>

219
00:07:43,916 --> 00:07:45,041
<i>♪ You're winning
you're winning ♪</i>

220
00:07:45,166 --> 00:07:46,375
<i>♪ Drop it down low ♪</i>

221
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,708
<i>- ♪ Yeah, spinnin' spinnin' ♪
- </i>

222
00:07:48,833 --> 00:07:50,458
Shake it, girl.

223
00:07:50,583 --> 00:07:51,875
<i>♪ So you can't get
low, low, low ♪</i>

224
00:07:53,125 --> 00:07:54,500
<i>♪ Big booty bitches ♪</i>

225
00:07:54,625 --> 00:07:56,208
<i>♪ You're winning
you're winning ♪</i>

226
00:07:56,333 --> 00:07:59,541
So they called you
a baby back bitch?

227
00:07:59,666 --> 00:08:01,208
Do they do that a lot?

228
00:08:01,333 --> 00:08:03,166
No, it doesn't matter.
Whatever it is.

229
00:08:03,291 --> 00:08:05,500
I had to lay down the law
is what I did.

230
00:08:05,625 --> 00:08:06,666
But, you know,
there's the standards.

231
00:08:06,791 --> 00:08:08,458
There's standards.
I'm just cut from the cloth

232
00:08:08,583 --> 00:08:10,125
of a higher standard,
if that makes any sense.

233
00:08:10,250 --> 00:08:11,500
I don't know if it does,

234
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,458
but that's--you--you get
what I'm saying, right?

235
00:08:13,583 --> 00:08:14,750
No, you're right.

236
00:08:14,875 --> 00:08:17,083
Yeah. You're right.

237
00:08:18,208 --> 00:08:19,291
What?

238
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:21,416
You're such a badass.

239
00:08:21,541 --> 00:08:23,583
You're not a baby back bitch.

240
00:08:23,708 --> 00:08:25,041
We'll just have to cut back
on a few things

241
00:08:25,166 --> 00:08:28,708
until you find something else.

242
00:08:28,833 --> 00:08:30,750
Maybe we pump the brakes
on his dance lessons, huh?

243
00:08:32,041 --> 00:08:33,250
Mm-hm. Mm, mm.

244
00:08:33,375 --> 00:08:35,291
We're paying for that?

245
00:08:35,416 --> 00:08:36,666
A lot.

246
00:08:36,791 --> 00:08:38,291
You know, I still have
that open invitation

247
00:08:38,416 --> 00:08:39,750
to rejoin my old firm.

248
00:08:39,875 --> 00:08:41,291
I thought you wanted
to stay home with Lucas.

249
00:08:41,416 --> 00:08:43,541
I do, but we also need
an income, right?

250
00:08:43,666 --> 00:08:45,500
So maybe you tag in

251
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:47,333
and do the whole
stay-at-home dad thing

252
00:08:47,458 --> 00:08:49,000
for a bit.

253
00:08:49,125 --> 00:08:51,583
You want me to stay at home
with--with him all day,

254
00:08:51,708 --> 00:08:52,625
just me and him?

255
00:08:52,750 --> 00:08:53,833
It would just be temporary.

256
00:08:53,958 --> 00:08:55,500
Plus, it'd be so good
for you and Lucas.

257
00:08:55,625 --> 00:08:57,416
It would give you
all this one-on-one time

258
00:08:57,541 --> 00:08:59,791
to just like bond.

259
00:08:59,916 --> 00:09:01,333
<i>♪ So you can't get
low no more ♪</i>

260
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,791
Ugh!

261
00:09:03,875 --> 00:09:04,708
Was that good?

262
00:09:05,791 --> 00:09:07,791
Very good, sweetie.
It was very good.

263
00:09:07,916 --> 00:09:09,541
There's really no way
to tell, pal.

264
00:09:11,125 --> 00:09:14,541
<i>♪ I love vacation,
and I'm all numb--♪</i>

265
00:09:16,833 --> 00:09:18,166
Hey, bud.

266
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:19,791
Aren't you, uh,
supposed to be in school?

267
00:09:19,916 --> 00:09:21,416
No, it's teacher
in service day.

268
00:09:21,541 --> 00:09:22,500
The hell is that?

269
00:09:22,625 --> 00:09:24,416
It's when teachers
learn new techniques

270
00:09:24,541 --> 00:09:25,750
to help them
with their teaching.

271
00:09:25,875 --> 00:09:26,958
And you get a day off for that?

272
00:09:27,083 --> 00:09:28,250
Why don't they work
that out on their,

273
00:09:28,375 --> 00:09:29,416
like, their own time?

274
00:09:29,541 --> 00:09:31,583
Well, I don't know,
but it's good for us.

275
00:09:31,708 --> 00:09:34,500
So what are we gonna do today?

276
00:09:34,625 --> 00:09:35,958
We?

277
00:09:36,083 --> 00:09:37,708
Boom. There you are.
A puzzle.

278
00:09:37,833 --> 00:09:38,875
Look at that.
Huh?

279
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,208
It's 25,000 pieces.

280
00:09:41,333 --> 00:09:42,208
Yeah, it is.

281
00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:43,833
That's weeks' worth.

282
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,625
Maybe even a month.
Who knows?

283
00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:48,166
- I'm kind of hungry, actually.
- Oh.

284
00:09:48,291 --> 00:09:49,166
Am I supposed to cook
you something,

285
00:09:49,291 --> 00:09:50,416
- or--
- Sure

286
00:09:50,541 --> 00:09:51,416
Is that what your mother
would do?

287
00:09:51,541 --> 00:09:52,833
- Mm-hmm.
- All right. Uh, yeah.

288
00:09:52,958 --> 00:09:54,750
Let's, uh, let's get after it.

289
00:09:54,875 --> 00:09:56,291
You ever try intermittent
fasting, by the way?

290
00:09:56,416 --> 00:09:58,166
- Intermittent fasting?
- Fasting, yeah.

291
00:09:58,291 --> 00:09:59,500
It's amazing for your colon.

292
00:09:59,625 --> 00:10:00,833
I'm in with you.
Let's both do it.

293
00:10:00,958 --> 00:10:01,875
What do you say?

294
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,708
Okay, well... I'm sorry.

295
00:10:03,833 --> 00:10:04,666
I'm just really hungry.

296
00:10:04,791 --> 00:10:05,666
- Okay.
- Sorry.

297
00:10:05,791 --> 00:10:06,958
All right, uh...

298
00:10:07,083 --> 00:10:08,958
Sometimes Mom makes me
breakfast sandwiches

299
00:10:09,083 --> 00:10:10,541
with the King's Hawaiian rolls.

300
00:10:10,666 --> 00:10:11,750
Oh, these are cool.

301
00:10:11,875 --> 00:10:12,958
These are really good.
I like them.

302
00:10:13,083 --> 00:10:14,208
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

303
00:10:14,333 --> 00:10:15,291
All right, so you know
what to do with that,

304
00:10:15,416 --> 00:10:16,500
and that's--that's amazing.

305
00:10:16,625 --> 00:10:17,625
- That's really cool.
- Yeah, I think so.

306
00:10:17,750 --> 00:10:18,750
- All right.
- Great.

307
00:10:18,875 --> 00:10:19,958
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, sure.

308
00:10:20,083 --> 00:10:20,916
You want to make them
with me or...?

309
00:10:21,041 --> 00:10:22,625
No, you're good.

310
00:10:23,958 --> 00:10:24,958
All right.

311
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:26,875
You wanna throw
the football around?

312
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:27,875
Do a little boxing?

313
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:28,875
- Nah.
- We could do, uh--

314
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,416
How about this?

315
00:10:33,666 --> 00:10:34,875
Or just do weird crap
on your own,

316
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:35,875
that's fine too.

317
00:10:38,041 --> 00:10:38,916
<i>♪ What up, bitch? ♪</i>

318
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:41,625
But you do owe me 50 bucks,

319
00:10:41,750 --> 00:10:43,041
I'm not fooling
around on that.

320
00:10:43,166 --> 00:10:44,000
I'll give you 50 bucks.

321
00:10:44,125 --> 00:10:45,208
- Relax.
- You relax.

322
00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:46,958
I want my fucking money.

323
00:10:47,083 --> 00:10:49,041
This dude looks like
my AA sponsor.

324
00:10:49,166 --> 00:10:51,291
Dude looks like
my garbage man.

325
00:10:51,416 --> 00:10:54,375
<i>♪ That gold crown ain't really
really relaxin' ♪</i>

326
00:10:54,500 --> 00:10:57,083
<i>♪ All twenty-six packs
on taxes ♪</i>

327
00:11:00,875 --> 00:11:01,833
Who are you?

328
00:11:01,958 --> 00:11:03,208
I'm Brian.

329
00:11:03,333 --> 00:11:05,166
Do you party, Brian?

330
00:11:05,291 --> 00:11:06,416
Do I party?

331
00:11:06,541 --> 00:11:07,625
Mm-hmm.

332
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:10,708
I mean, in college,
I did, I guess.

333
00:11:10,833 --> 00:11:11,750
I'm Leslie.

334
00:11:11,875 --> 00:11:13,291
This is Ivy, Jess and Marla.

335
00:11:13,416 --> 00:11:14,791
We got the Mama Mafia here.

336
00:11:14,916 --> 00:11:15,958
- What's up?
- What's up?

337
00:11:16,083 --> 00:11:19,291
Hello. Nice to meet you,
uh... Mama Mafia.

338
00:11:19,416 --> 00:11:21,666
Did you take my parking spot,
Brian?

339
00:11:21,791 --> 00:11:23,000
Oh, is that yours?

340
00:11:23,125 --> 00:11:24,625
All the gray Honda Odysseys?

341
00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:25,625
All of them,
are they all yours?

342
00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:27,333
- Yeah.
- Safest SUV on the market

343
00:11:27,458 --> 00:11:28,583
and gray's least likely
to get stolen.

344
00:11:28,708 --> 00:11:29,833
Is there a problem?

345
00:11:29,958 --> 00:11:31,125
No, no, no, I didn't know.

346
00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:32,875
And it was just felt
like crazy to me,

347
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,666
but crazy sensible.

348
00:11:34,791 --> 00:11:36,916
Like you got the exact
same color and everything.

349
00:11:37,041 --> 00:11:38,500
It's pretty cool.

350
00:11:38,625 --> 00:11:41,791
- Snack bag?
- Oh, thank you very much.

351
00:11:41,916 --> 00:11:43,416
- I appreciate that.
- Those are for the kids.

352
00:11:43,541 --> 00:11:44,625
Yeah, I know they are.

353
00:11:44,750 --> 00:11:46,541
Give it back, Brian.

354
00:11:46,666 --> 00:11:48,666
Back, Brian.

355
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:50,416
You've had enough
frickin' snacks.

356
00:11:50,541 --> 00:11:51,625
So you want to be in?

357
00:11:51,750 --> 00:11:53,041
You want to join the mafia?

358
00:11:53,166 --> 00:11:54,416
Do I want to join
the Mama Mafia?

359
00:11:54,541 --> 00:11:55,458
- Yeah.
- No.

360
00:11:55,583 --> 00:11:56,833
I don't--I don't even know,

361
00:11:56,958 --> 00:11:59,041
you know, what the Mama Mafia
really is about.

362
00:11:59,166 --> 00:12:00,791
It's easy. Weekdays,
we're here at 10 AM,

363
00:12:00,916 --> 00:12:02,125
we drop the kids,
they go apeshit.

364
00:12:02,250 --> 00:12:04,416
Yeah, at 12, we caravan
down to Chili's, eat lunch,

365
00:12:04,541 --> 00:12:05,833
and get ripped up.

366
00:12:05,958 --> 00:12:07,666
But mainly to get ripped up!

367
00:12:09,875 --> 00:12:11,208
Yeah, you want some wine?

368
00:12:11,333 --> 00:12:14,083
I...I don't drink so much
during the day, you know?

369
00:12:14,208 --> 00:12:16,583
You want coke?
Ivy's got speed.

370
00:12:16,708 --> 00:12:21,166
No, not now, 'cause I'm
watching my, uh, son. Um--

371
00:12:21,291 --> 00:12:22,625
You're gonna have to lose
the windbreaker, though.

372
00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:24,083
- Oh.
- You want to get jumped in?

373
00:12:24,208 --> 00:12:25,250
- Jumped in?
- Yeah.

374
00:12:25,375 --> 00:12:26,458
You can keep your clothes on.

375
00:12:26,583 --> 00:12:29,125
Uh, not right away.
You know what it is?

376
00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:30,625
Oh, that's Lucas.

377
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,125
Okay, that's my boy.

378
00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:34,208
He's a wanderer
and my wife got him

379
00:12:34,333 --> 00:12:36,208
this wearable GPS tracker.

380
00:12:36,333 --> 00:12:38,541
- Did your wife pick your jacket?
- She might have.

381
00:12:38,666 --> 00:12:39,625
I'll see you later.

382
00:12:39,750 --> 00:12:40,916
- Uh--
- No, you won't, Brian.

383
00:12:41,041 --> 00:12:41,875
- Okay <i>.
-</i> You freaking won't.

384
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,875
I hope not.
All right, Lucas,

385
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,083
let's just try
to throw a spiral,

386
00:12:45,208 --> 00:12:46,125
- you know what I'm saying?
- Okay.

387
00:12:46,250 --> 00:12:47,833
Spiral.
You want to position your hand

388
00:12:47,958 --> 00:12:49,166
on the back quarter of the ball.

389
00:12:49,291 --> 00:12:50,500
Here you go.
It's just a nice, tight spiral.

390
00:12:50,625 --> 00:12:51,666
Nice and tight.

391
00:12:51,791 --> 00:12:53,333
Okay. All right.
Can you pick that one up?

392
00:12:53,458 --> 00:12:54,708
- Love you, Dad.
- Yeah, no worries.

393
00:12:54,833 --> 00:12:56,041
Try to catch those, okay?

394
00:12:56,166 --> 00:12:57,125
Makes it so much more fun.

395
00:12:57,250 --> 00:12:58,208
That wasn't it.

396
00:12:58,333 --> 00:12:59,291
- I'm sorry.
- Okay.

397
00:12:59,416 --> 00:13:01,250
Sorry. My bad.

398
00:13:01,375 --> 00:13:03,000
This is gonna suck.

399
00:13:03,125 --> 00:13:04,041
Thread that needle, I see it.

400
00:13:04,166 --> 00:13:05,166
Was that good?

401
00:13:05,291 --> 00:13:06,541
That's more--
that wasn't threaded,

402
00:13:06,666 --> 00:13:07,708
that was more crochet.

403
00:13:07,833 --> 00:13:09,916
All right.

404
00:13:20,666 --> 00:13:21,875
All right, Lucas,
let's turn it up a notch.

405
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,000
What do you say, okay?

406
00:13:23,125 --> 00:13:24,000
See what I'm doin'?

407
00:13:24,125 --> 00:13:25,583
Okay,
you try to catch those though.

408
00:13:25,708 --> 00:13:26,625
That's what you got to do.
You take it right in the chest.

409
00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:27,958
Hey, give you a little tip.

410
00:13:28,083 --> 00:13:30,000
It's these fingers
for a spiral.

411
00:13:30,125 --> 00:13:31,125
Yeah, I know
how to throw a spiral.

412
00:13:31,250 --> 00:13:32,458
It's probably
because you got tiny hands.

413
00:13:32,583 --> 00:13:33,875
It can be tricky
with little mitts like that.

414
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,500
You just got to adjust
your grip like this.

415
00:13:35,625 --> 00:13:36,666
You don't, well--
I mean a little bit, yeah.

416
00:13:36,791 --> 00:13:37,750
Hey, what do you say
we play a game?

417
00:13:37,875 --> 00:13:38,875
Nah, I'm good.
I'm just...

418
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:39,958
You thinking
like a little two-on-two?

419
00:13:40,083 --> 00:13:41,041
No, I'm not thinking
that at all.

420
00:13:41,166 --> 00:13:43,041
Okay, fun.
CJ, go cover his kid! Here.

421
00:13:43,166 --> 00:13:44,916
- I didn't even--
- Hike it. Hike the ball.

422
00:13:45,041 --> 00:13:45,958
I don't even know
what we're doing.

423
00:13:46,083 --> 00:13:47,416
Hey, stay tight on him.
Stay tight.

424
00:13:48,625 --> 00:13:50,041
- That's all we're doing.
- Hike it, dude.

425
00:13:51,375 --> 00:13:52,500
- I don't even know the rules.
- Ready? Ready?

426
00:13:52,625 --> 00:13:53,666
Can you just listen?
Oh my God!

427
00:13:59,250 --> 00:14:01,458
Oh look,
they're friends already.

428
00:14:01,583 --> 00:14:04,583
Shake it, girl,
come and get it.

429
00:14:04,708 --> 00:14:06,625
Do you mind, uh,
getting off me?

430
00:14:11,208 --> 00:14:13,208
Fatherhood, huh?

431
00:14:13,333 --> 00:14:14,375
Come on.

432
00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:15,750
Okay.

433
00:14:16,958 --> 00:14:18,375
Okay.

434
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:20,958
Oh, look, your kid's catching
a bug with my little bugger.

435
00:14:21,083 --> 00:14:22,958
Oh, that should keep them busy
for a while.

436
00:14:24,208 --> 00:14:25,333
I stand corrected.

437
00:14:25,458 --> 00:14:28,041
CJ, let it go!

438
00:14:28,166 --> 00:14:31,208
No! Drop it!

439
00:14:33,333 --> 00:14:34,583
Hmm.

440
00:14:34,708 --> 00:14:36,500
Dude's always putting stuff
in his mouth.

441
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:38,541
Your kid ever go
through that phase?

442
00:14:38,666 --> 00:14:40,375
Maybe when he was one.

443
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:42,541
Yeah, we're taking
a little longer.

444
00:14:42,666 --> 00:14:44,333
Name's Jeff.

445
00:14:44,458 --> 00:14:46,041
Uh, Brian.

446
00:14:46,166 --> 00:14:48,375
Outstanding.

447
00:14:48,500 --> 00:14:49,583
You ever go by “Bri-Bri”?

448
00:14:49,708 --> 00:14:50,750
- No.
- Oh, come on.

449
00:14:50,875 --> 00:14:52,791
Bri-Bri is a badass name, dude.

450
00:14:52,916 --> 00:14:54,625
I knew a Bri-Bri
in the army once.

451
00:14:54,750 --> 00:14:56,583
Bri-Bri once used a severed arm
of a Taliban

452
00:14:56,708 --> 00:14:58,375
to diffuse an IED in a sewer.

453
00:15:00,250 --> 00:15:02,625
I miss Bri-Bri.

454
00:15:02,750 --> 00:15:04,125
Was he killed in action?

455
00:15:04,250 --> 00:15:08,000
No, got crushed by a van
leaving Chipotle.

456
00:15:08,125 --> 00:15:09,791
What about one Bri?
Is that cool?

457
00:15:09,916 --> 00:15:13,041
- Sure.
- Okay, Bri...

458
00:15:13,166 --> 00:15:14,708
Bri.

459
00:15:14,833 --> 00:15:17,458
Okay. Uh, Lucas.
Let's get going, bud.

460
00:15:17,583 --> 00:15:18,708
- What do you say, you know?
- Already?

461
00:15:18,833 --> 00:15:20,541
- Yeah.
- We just got here.

462
00:15:20,666 --> 00:15:22,291
Yeah, I know but your mother
wanted us back

463
00:15:22,416 --> 00:15:23,375
for dinner and things.

464
00:15:23,500 --> 00:15:24,458
We got to get ready.

465
00:15:24,583 --> 00:15:26,541
- Dad, it's 10 in the morning.
- I...

466
00:15:26,666 --> 00:15:28,375
But CJ invited me
over his house.

467
00:15:28,500 --> 00:15:29,500
He just moved here

468
00:15:29,625 --> 00:15:31,125
and he said there's a tree
in his backyard

469
00:15:31,250 --> 00:15:33,166
that looks just
like Mark Ruffalo.

470
00:15:33,291 --> 00:15:34,791
Freakin' uncanny.

471
00:15:34,916 --> 00:15:35,958
It's why we rented the place.

472
00:15:36,083 --> 00:15:38,583
So can we go
over their house, please?

473
00:15:38,708 --> 00:15:39,625
CJ's cool.

474
00:15:39,750 --> 00:15:41,166
He said my hoodie's dope.

475
00:15:41,291 --> 00:15:42,666
It is a pretty dope ass hoodie.

476
00:15:42,791 --> 00:15:44,083
Please?

477
00:15:47,375 --> 00:15:48,625
Sure, sure.
All right. Why not.

478
00:15:53,750 --> 00:15:55,083
- Hell yeah, dude!
- Yeah, okay.

479
00:15:55,208 --> 00:15:56,083
Fuck yeah!

480
00:15:56,208 --> 00:15:57,375
CJ, game on!

481
00:15:57,500 --> 00:15:58,416
They're coming
to our place, bro.

482
00:15:58,541 --> 00:15:59,875
Up high.

483
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,125
- Whoa.
- Mm.

484
00:16:01,250 --> 00:16:02,708
Doesn't totally get high fives.

485
00:16:04,541 --> 00:16:06,041
You wanna dance?

486
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,083
I said submit!

487
00:16:12,208 --> 00:16:13,250
Submit!

488
00:16:13,375 --> 00:16:15,083
No, CJ! No!
Release.

489
00:16:16,333 --> 00:16:18,041
CJ, stand down!

490
00:16:18,166 --> 00:16:19,166
CJ, stop it!

491
00:16:24,583 --> 00:16:25,916
Little dude's super strong.

492
00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:27,375
Oh, yeah.

493
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,250
You guys go on ahead
while I put him out real quick.

494
00:16:29,375 --> 00:16:30,500
- Okay, yeah.
- Okay, yeah.

495
00:16:30,625 --> 00:16:32,791
- Go to sleep. Sleep.
- We're gonna go.

496
00:16:34,875 --> 00:16:36,000
I'm so excited to be here.

497
00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:38,583
Yeah, don't get too
comfortable, all right?

498
00:16:38,708 --> 00:16:41,250
I texted your mom our location,
you know, just in case.

499
00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:42,833
Well, just in case what?

500
00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:44,750
In case the guy murders us.

501
00:16:44,875 --> 00:16:46,000
- Hey!
- Hey.

502
00:16:46,125 --> 00:16:47,750
- Come in, come in.
- Hey, CJ. What's up?

503
00:16:50,041 --> 00:16:51,041
- Okay.
- Don't let go.

504
00:16:51,166 --> 00:16:52,291
All right.

505
00:16:52,416 --> 00:16:53,583
- There we go.
- Yeah.

506
00:16:53,708 --> 00:16:55,083
Hey, I'm good.

507
00:16:55,208 --> 00:16:56,583
- Missed you, buddy.
- Yeah, nice to see you.

508
00:16:56,708 --> 00:16:57,625
We're still unpacking,

509
00:16:57,750 --> 00:16:59,291
but I did clean the place
up for you.

510
00:17:03,875 --> 00:17:05,500
Sorry. I'm beat, man.

511
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:07,500
- Yeah.
- CJ barely sleeps.

512
00:17:07,625 --> 00:17:08,958
Lucky if he gets
two hours a night.

513
00:17:09,083 --> 00:17:10,500
Two hours?
That can't be healthy.

514
00:17:10,625 --> 00:17:11,625
Yeah, it's fine.

515
00:17:11,750 --> 00:17:13,416
What's that old saying?

516
00:17:13,541 --> 00:17:15,125
Kids are like horses?

517
00:17:16,833 --> 00:17:19,791
No, no one's ever
said that at all.

518
00:17:20,875 --> 00:17:22,583
Wow. Were you in the Army?

519
00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:24,250
I was.

520
00:17:24,375 --> 00:17:26,333
Well, that's Bri-Bri
with Commander Colonel Kurtz.

521
00:17:26,458 --> 00:17:28,708
First Special Forces
Operational Detachment.

522
00:17:28,833 --> 00:17:29,833
Delta Force.

523
00:17:29,958 --> 00:17:31,583
Whoa. Delta Force?

524
00:17:31,708 --> 00:17:33,041
Yeah. You know, one time,

525
00:17:33,166 --> 00:17:35,291
I saw two guys
get their heads blown off.

526
00:17:35,416 --> 00:17:37,583
One guy bled out in my arms

527
00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:40,208
while I slowly watched him die.

528
00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:42,208
Sick, right?

529
00:17:42,333 --> 00:17:43,875
- Right?
- Mm-hmm.

530
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,083
- Jesus.
- Wow.

531
00:17:45,208 --> 00:17:46,875
Pretty crazy story.

532
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,375
I'm sure you got a lot more,
but if you tell me,

533
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,208
you're gonna have
to kill me, right?

534
00:17:50,333 --> 00:17:51,291
I am gonna have to kill you.

535
00:17:51,416 --> 00:17:52,708
Hey, hey, hey!
Take it easy!

536
00:17:52,833 --> 00:17:53,708
Hey!

537
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:56,541
Oh, shit.

538
00:17:56,666 --> 00:17:58,125
Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
There was some left in there.

539
00:17:58,250 --> 00:17:59,250
Oh, God.

540
00:17:59,375 --> 00:18:01,166
It's a ketchup dispenser.

541
00:18:01,291 --> 00:18:02,708
Came with a
matching mustard gun.

542
00:18:02,833 --> 00:18:04,083
Isn't that fun?

543
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:06,583
Let me get you a paper towel.

544
00:18:06,708 --> 00:18:08,208
Hey, Dad. Dad.

545
00:18:08,333 --> 00:18:09,958
Isn't Jeff super cool
and strong,

546
00:18:10,083 --> 00:18:13,041
and look how big he is.

547
00:18:13,166 --> 00:18:16,291
Yeah, he's big, but it's--
it's genetics, you know?

548
00:18:16,416 --> 00:18:18,125
I mean,
I'm sure his dad was very big,

549
00:18:18,250 --> 00:18:21,500
and his mother
was an American bison.

550
00:18:21,625 --> 00:18:24,583
Plus, when you get that big,
you don't live that long.

551
00:18:24,708 --> 00:18:25,666
Okay, whatever.

552
00:18:25,791 --> 00:18:27,000
Uh, CJ, want to go outside

553
00:18:27,125 --> 00:18:28,416
so I can show you
some more dance moves?

554
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:29,583
Hell yeah!

555
00:18:32,041 --> 00:18:33,791
Oh, you're okay
with him cursing like that?

556
00:18:33,916 --> 00:18:35,666
Yeah, words can't hurt anyone.

557
00:18:35,791 --> 00:18:36,958
Worst case,
I tell him to go to bed,

558
00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:39,583
he calls me a buck-tooth bitch.

559
00:18:40,791 --> 00:18:42,166
All right.

560
00:18:42,291 --> 00:18:43,958
If you don't mind me asking,
I mean, where's CJ's mom?

561
00:18:44,083 --> 00:18:46,666
Oh, she passed away
a few months ago.

562
00:18:46,791 --> 00:18:48,333
Yeah, she was real sick.

563
00:18:48,458 --> 00:18:49,708
Sorry to hear about that.

564
00:18:49,833 --> 00:18:51,875
That's all right.
She was gonna die anyway.

565
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,083
That's why we moved
to a new town.

566
00:18:53,208 --> 00:18:54,666
Make a fresh start, you know?

567
00:18:54,791 --> 00:18:56,666
Had some money saved up
from a security gig.

568
00:18:56,791 --> 00:18:57,875
Thought I'd do the
stay-at-home-dad thing

569
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,250
while CJ gets acclimated.

570
00:19:00,375 --> 00:19:01,625
What about you?

571
00:19:01,750 --> 00:19:03,000
Your wife croak too?

572
00:19:03,125 --> 00:19:05,125
No.
She's alive and well at work.

573
00:19:05,250 --> 00:19:06,416
- Oh.
- Yeah.

574
00:19:06,541 --> 00:19:08,541
She's a lawyer.
I'm a forensic accountant.

575
00:19:08,666 --> 00:19:10,250
Oh, forensics?

576
00:19:10,375 --> 00:19:11,583
Like autopsies and stuff?

577
00:19:11,708 --> 00:19:13,666
Forensic accountant.

578
00:19:13,791 --> 00:19:15,875
Oh, that's boring.

579
00:19:21,083 --> 00:19:24,416
So what does CJ
stand for anyway?

580
00:19:24,541 --> 00:19:26,625
Christopher Jif.

581
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,375
- Like the peanut butter?
- Uh-huh.

582
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,166
Like this peanut butter?

583
00:19:31,291 --> 00:19:34,041
The one you looked at
right before you said Jif?

584
00:19:34,166 --> 00:19:35,375
Yeah, I looked
at the peanut butter

585
00:19:35,500 --> 00:19:37,416
because I was thinking
of making us

586
00:19:37,541 --> 00:19:38,875
some peanut butter sandwiches,

587
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,958
which was CJ's
mom's favorite food,

588
00:19:41,083 --> 00:19:43,416
which is why
his middle name is Jif.

589
00:19:45,208 --> 00:19:47,458
Oh, hey, look at that fun list
of stuff I did for me and CJ

590
00:19:47,583 --> 00:19:49,708
to do now that his mom
went tits-up.

591
00:19:49,833 --> 00:19:52,000
- One, make new friends.
- Check.

592
00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:54,875
- Go to Buckee Cheese.
- Oh, love Buckee Cheese.

593
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:58,041
Do ayahuasca in the desert.

594
00:19:58,166 --> 00:20:00,625
He's gonna love that.

595
00:20:00,750 --> 00:20:03,500
Freak out
the fat lady across the street.

596
00:20:06,250 --> 00:20:08,208
Dad? Dad?

597
00:20:08,333 --> 00:20:10,250
There's a guy in the backyard
watching us.

598
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:11,416
Where?

599
00:20:11,541 --> 00:20:12,625
Lucas is just kidding.

600
00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:14,083
No, I'm not.
I'm serious.

601
00:20:14,208 --> 00:20:15,458
There's a guy out there.

602
00:20:15,583 --> 00:20:17,291
- He's just staring at us.
- Come on, Lucas.

603
00:20:17,416 --> 00:20:18,500
Hey, I got an idea.

604
00:20:18,625 --> 00:20:19,708
Why don't we go get lunch?

605
00:20:19,833 --> 00:20:21,291
- You guys like Buckee Cheese?
- Sure.

606
00:20:21,416 --> 00:20:22,583
You can help us
cross it off the list.

607
00:20:22,708 --> 00:20:23,958
- Can we, Dad?
- Of course we can.

608
00:20:24,083 --> 00:20:26,250
Uh, you know,
he's got a dance lesson.

609
00:20:26,375 --> 00:20:27,666
No, I don't.

610
00:20:27,791 --> 00:20:30,166
Hope no one's allergic to fun.

611
00:20:30,291 --> 00:20:31,375
I know I'm not.

612
00:20:31,500 --> 00:20:33,083
Okay. Pile in, boys.

613
00:20:33,208 --> 00:20:34,583
What the hell is with
all the gray Odysseys?

614
00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:47,333
This is awesome, right?

615
00:20:47,458 --> 00:20:49,291
- You suck.
- Creeper.

616
00:20:51,166 --> 00:20:53,541
Man, that kid is fearless.

617
00:20:53,666 --> 00:20:56,083
Look at him hanging upside down
from--

618
00:20:56,208 --> 00:20:57,791
what's he hanging
upside down on?

619
00:20:57,916 --> 00:20:59,333
That would be
the sprinkler system.

620
00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:01,916
Oh. Well, you know
what they say.

621
00:21:02,041 --> 00:21:03,291
A kid falls
and cracks his skull,

622
00:21:03,416 --> 00:21:05,125
- that's how they learn, right?
- Mm, no.

623
00:21:05,250 --> 00:21:06,250
No, that's not how they--

624
00:21:06,375 --> 00:21:07,625
no one's ever said that.

625
00:21:07,750 --> 00:21:09,791
Look at how happy he is.

626
00:21:09,916 --> 00:21:11,125
You know,
this is the first time

627
00:21:11,250 --> 00:21:13,541
I've ever seen him smile.

628
00:21:13,666 --> 00:21:16,125
You never--you never seen
your kid smile?

629
00:21:16,250 --> 00:21:18,208
Since his mom died.

630
00:21:18,333 --> 00:21:19,666
Yeah, like,
I'm--I'm--I'm sorry.

631
00:21:19,791 --> 00:21:20,791
You know, I can't imagine
what you guys--

632
00:21:20,916 --> 00:21:23,083
Man, God is so good.

633
00:21:23,208 --> 00:21:25,416
You know, the first day my son
meets his new best friend,

634
00:21:25,541 --> 00:21:26,750
so did I.

635
00:21:26,875 --> 00:21:28,541
Fathead.

636
00:21:28,666 --> 00:21:30,541
- Do you want to start a band?
- No.

637
00:21:30,666 --> 00:21:33,333
Um, well, you know,
uh--Jeff, look, I--I--

638
00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:34,541
First of all,
this is--this is great.

639
00:21:34,666 --> 00:21:35,833
- I know.
- Yeah, and you...

640
00:21:35,958 --> 00:21:37,500
you just seem
like a great guy.

641
00:21:37,625 --> 00:21:39,166
You do. You got the thing.

642
00:21:39,291 --> 00:21:41,458
And--and things are moving kind
of fast with this whole thing.

643
00:21:41,583 --> 00:21:43,250
Like, a lot is going on
in my life right now

644
00:21:43,375 --> 00:21:45,541
and it feels like, you know,
you're asking a lot, you know?

645
00:21:45,666 --> 00:21:47,333
So first of all, I want
to tell you about myself.

646
00:21:47,458 --> 00:21:48,875
I've recently got married.

647
00:21:50,833 --> 00:21:53,208
It just feels like
I gotta concentrate on that.

648
00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:05,166
You really can't be best friends

649
00:22:05,291 --> 00:22:07,541
with somebody
when things are moving so fast

650
00:22:07,666 --> 00:22:09,541
when you don't know
someone so well.

651
00:22:09,666 --> 00:22:11,583
I mean--Oh, no, no.

652
00:22:11,708 --> 00:22:13,458
Listen, I didn't mean--
I didn't mean it like that.

653
00:22:21,666 --> 00:22:22,958
Hello, miss.

654
00:22:23,083 --> 00:22:25,125
Can I get the super socks
for 500 tickets, please?

655
00:22:32,333 --> 00:22:33,791
Thanks.

656
00:22:47,791 --> 00:22:49,541
Whoa.

657
00:22:49,666 --> 00:22:50,750
Holy shit!

658
00:22:50,875 --> 00:22:52,708
- Dude, what the hell?
- You broke his face!

659
00:22:52,833 --> 00:22:54,250
Sorry, I thought
he was a friend of mine.

660
00:22:57,958 --> 00:22:59,333
Holy shit!

661
00:23:01,583 --> 00:23:02,666
No, no, no, no!
Aahhh!

662
00:23:07,708 --> 00:23:09,458
Well, hello.

663
00:23:09,583 --> 00:23:11,375
Play with me, camper.

664
00:23:11,500 --> 00:23:13,125
No.

665
00:23:13,250 --> 00:23:14,916
Oh, my God!

666
00:23:15,041 --> 00:23:16,583
Holy shit! Is this real?

667
00:23:17,916 --> 00:23:19,208
Somebody help us!

668
00:23:19,333 --> 00:23:20,250
Get your hands off me.

669
00:23:20,375 --> 00:23:21,291
Give me a hug!

670
00:23:21,416 --> 00:23:22,750
- No, no hug.
- Love me!

671
00:23:22,875 --> 00:23:23,875
Get the hell away from me,
you freaking weirdo.

672
00:23:25,750 --> 00:23:27,583
Aahh! Please stop!

673
00:23:30,083 --> 00:23:31,583
Oh my God. Mommy!

674
00:23:33,500 --> 00:23:34,375
Hey, give me--hey!

675
00:23:34,500 --> 00:23:37,041
Ooh, shiny.

676
00:23:37,166 --> 00:23:38,250
Stupid!

677
00:23:38,375 --> 00:23:39,708
Who wants to be tickled?

678
00:23:40,833 --> 00:23:41,708
- That's enough.
- Dude.

679
00:23:41,833 --> 00:23:42,791
Just give me a hug, man.

680
00:23:42,916 --> 00:23:43,875
You just grabbed love handles.

681
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:44,958
You don't do that.

682
00:23:48,375 --> 00:23:49,666
No, no, no!

683
00:23:50,875 --> 00:23:51,958
Don't be such a baby!

684
00:23:52,083 --> 00:23:53,208
Give me a hug, man!

685
00:23:53,333 --> 00:23:54,250
What's your problem?

686
00:23:54,375 --> 00:23:55,791
- Smile!
- Take the photo!

687
00:23:55,916 --> 00:23:57,333
- Smile!
- Take the photo, man!

688
00:23:57,458 --> 00:23:58,333
Just relax!

689
00:23:58,458 --> 00:24:00,291
- I'm not paying for that.
- Yes, you are.

690
00:24:00,416 --> 00:24:01,333
- Thanks, Lucy!
- Stop it.

691
00:24:01,458 --> 00:24:03,458
Ow! Asshole!

692
00:24:07,625 --> 00:24:09,708
Welcome to the jungle, bitch!

693
00:24:15,041 --> 00:24:17,041
I'm gonna kick your ass!

694
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:28,041
How'd you find me?

695
00:24:30,833 --> 00:24:32,041
How'd you--?

696
00:24:36,291 --> 00:24:37,500
<i>All right,
shooters...</i>

697
00:24:39,208 --> 00:24:40,583
<i>...hoedown.</i>

698
00:24:40,708 --> 00:24:42,750
<i>...moves, shoot it!
Let them critters have it!</i>

699
00:24:46,166 --> 00:24:47,625
Come on, big bitch!

700
00:24:47,750 --> 00:24:49,750
- Okay.
- Yippee ki-yay, mother--!

701
00:24:51,083 --> 00:24:52,333
- Hey, Dad!
- Hey, guys.

702
00:24:52,458 --> 00:24:53,708
Guess you missed
freakin' Buckee.

703
00:24:53,833 --> 00:24:55,000
What a freakin'--

704
00:24:55,125 --> 00:24:56,500
Hey, look at that, pizza's here.

705
00:24:56,625 --> 00:24:57,791
Thank you so much.

706
00:24:57,916 --> 00:24:59,583
All right, guys, dig in.

707
00:24:59,708 --> 00:25:00,750
What's that?

708
00:25:02,041 --> 00:25:03,333
What is what?

709
00:25:03,458 --> 00:25:05,291
Haven't you ever
had pizza before?

710
00:25:05,416 --> 00:25:06,791
No.

711
00:25:09,166 --> 00:25:11,125
Your--your dad's never
taken you for pizza?

712
00:25:11,250 --> 00:25:12,166
Jeff's not my dad.

713
00:25:13,416 --> 00:25:14,833
Jeff's not your dad?

714
00:25:14,958 --> 00:25:15,958
No.

715
00:25:17,208 --> 00:25:18,916
Who... who is he?

716
00:25:19,041 --> 00:25:20,166
I don't know.

717
00:25:20,291 --> 00:25:21,208
He just took me.

718
00:25:23,291 --> 00:25:24,375
All right, that's it.
I knew something was wrong.

719
00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:25,708
Everybody get up, get up.
Get up right now.

720
00:25:25,833 --> 00:25:26,958
Come with me.

721
00:25:27,083 --> 00:25:28,708
Let's go.

722
00:25:28,833 --> 00:25:30,916
Look, ma'am,
this is an emergency, okay?

723
00:25:31,041 --> 00:25:32,000
His wristband
doesn't match yours.

724
00:25:32,125 --> 00:25:33,500
Okay, you're--you're okay
with a kid

725
00:25:33,625 --> 00:25:35,208
dangling from
a sprinkler system,

726
00:25:35,333 --> 00:25:36,458
but all of a sudden
an adult wants to leave

727
00:25:36,583 --> 00:25:37,875
with a kid that's not his,

728
00:25:38,000 --> 00:25:39,916
and you have a problem
with that?

729
00:25:40,041 --> 00:25:41,458
That didn't come out right,
but look--look,

730
00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:42,875
do I--do I look like a predator?

731
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:43,958
Yeah.

732
00:25:44,083 --> 00:25:44,916
Is it the windbreaker?

733
00:25:45,041 --> 00:25:46,833
Yeah.

734
00:25:46,958 --> 00:25:47,833
No!

735
00:25:47,958 --> 00:25:49,166
Slow down!

736
00:25:50,500 --> 00:25:51,500
- Sorry.
- Look, do you know this man?

737
00:25:51,625 --> 00:25:53,541
No. I don't know
any of these people.

738
00:25:53,666 --> 00:25:55,166
That's a lie.
That's a lie right there.

739
00:25:55,291 --> 00:25:56,750
You lie.
We met today at the park.

740
00:25:56,875 --> 00:25:57,708
- You don't remember meeting us--
- Buckee, thank you.

741
00:25:57,833 --> 00:25:58,958
- Please.
- What's up, pal?

742
00:25:59,083 --> 00:26:00,958
- Okay.
- You're a tough guy now?

743
00:26:01,083 --> 00:26:02,125
We've been through
this already.

744
00:26:03,875 --> 00:26:05,125
- Buckee, look out!
- Oh, shit.

745
00:26:07,666 --> 00:26:09,166
Buckee! Holy shit!

746
00:26:09,291 --> 00:26:10,791
Come here, man.

747
00:26:12,125 --> 00:26:12,958
You guys stay with me.
Stay with me.

748
00:26:13,083 --> 00:26:14,208
Hey, Lucas, stop.

749
00:26:14,333 --> 00:26:15,458
Hey, trust me,
you don't have a choice.

750
00:26:15,583 --> 00:26:17,833
Hop in, boys.
Seat belts.

751
00:26:17,958 --> 00:26:19,583
Hey, why did CJ tell us
you're not his dad?

752
00:26:19,708 --> 00:26:20,875
Because I'm not.

753
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,708
Okay.
Lucas, get out of the van.

754
00:26:22,833 --> 00:26:24,416
I can't.

755
00:26:24,541 --> 00:26:26,083
I'm sick of this shit.

756
00:26:26,208 --> 00:26:27,750
Bring it, bitch.

757
00:26:27,875 --> 00:26:29,708
Who the hell are you?

758
00:26:31,041 --> 00:26:31,958
Who's that guy?

759
00:26:32,083 --> 00:26:33,250
A guy who wants to kill you.

760
00:26:35,791 --> 00:26:36,958
- Who are they?
- They want to kill you, too.

761
00:26:37,083 --> 00:26:38,250
- Why?
- Because they think you know.

762
00:26:38,375 --> 00:26:39,541
Know what?

763
00:26:39,666 --> 00:26:40,583
Get in, Bri!

764
00:26:41,666 --> 00:26:42,666
Shit! Man!

765
00:26:44,250 --> 00:26:45,250
I don't know anything.

766
00:26:45,375 --> 00:26:46,708
Why would they think I know?

767
00:26:48,541 --> 00:26:51,166
<i>♪ Twenty people knocking 'cos
they're wanting some more ♪</i>

768
00:26:51,291 --> 00:26:53,625
<i>♪ Let me in baby,
I don't know what you've got ♪</i>

769
00:26:59,791 --> 00:27:01,458
- Dad, what's going on?
- Nothing.

770
00:27:01,583 --> 00:27:02,791
We're just having
a little fun.

771
00:27:02,916 --> 00:27:03,833
It's just some fun, right guys?

772
00:27:03,958 --> 00:27:04,916
- You guys having fun?
- Not really.

773
00:27:05,041 --> 00:27:06,708
Okay,
get those seat belts on now!

774
00:27:15,375 --> 00:27:16,458
He's got a gun!

775
00:27:16,583 --> 00:27:17,916
No, no.
What the hell is that?

776
00:27:27,583 --> 00:27:28,416
What are you doing?

777
00:27:28,541 --> 00:27:30,041
We're on a freeway.

778
00:27:39,416 --> 00:27:41,208
Just tell me
what the hell is going on.

779
00:27:41,333 --> 00:27:42,833
Hey buddies,
put some headphones on

780
00:27:42,958 --> 00:27:45,125
and throw in one
of my DVDs back there.

781
00:27:46,791 --> 00:27:48,291
<i>Doctor Hannibal Lecter.</i>

782
00:27:50,541 --> 00:27:51,458
Can you just tell me?

783
00:27:51,583 --> 00:27:53,500
Look, they're not after me.

784
00:27:53,625 --> 00:27:54,750
They're after CJ.

785
00:27:54,875 --> 00:27:56,500
CJ? Why are they after him?

786
00:27:56,625 --> 00:27:58,291
Because I rescued him
from some very bad people.

787
00:27:58,416 --> 00:27:59,625
What--what kind of bad people?

788
00:27:59,750 --> 00:28:01,791
- I don't know, bad people.
- Okay, that's it.

789
00:28:01,916 --> 00:28:03,041
Do me a favor,
pull--pull over right now.

790
00:28:03,166 --> 00:28:04,708
- Let us out.
- Oh, no way.

791
00:28:04,833 --> 00:28:05,750
You've got one too.

792
00:28:05,875 --> 00:28:07,833
What the hell?
Are you kidding me?

793
00:28:07,958 --> 00:28:09,208
Oh, your child abduction photo

794
00:28:09,333 --> 00:28:10,166
is way better than mine.

795
00:28:10,291 --> 00:28:11,250
Amber Bros.

796
00:28:11,375 --> 00:28:13,333
Okay, pull the car
over right now.

797
00:28:13,458 --> 00:28:14,708
I'm calling the cops.
That's it, you're done.

798
00:28:14,833 --> 00:28:16,500
Probably not a good idea

799
00:28:16,625 --> 00:28:17,958
with the whole Amber alert
and all, huh?

800
00:28:18,083 --> 00:28:19,000
The hell's my phone?

801
00:28:19,125 --> 00:28:20,458
Fuck!

802
00:28:20,583 --> 00:28:21,833
I left it at Buckee Cheese.

803
00:28:21,958 --> 00:28:23,625
I'm not turning around,
Bri-Bri.

804
00:28:23,750 --> 00:28:25,125
The hostess at Buckee Cheese
thought I was,

805
00:28:25,250 --> 00:28:27,125
you know, kidnapping the kids.

806
00:28:27,250 --> 00:28:28,208
Do I look like a child predator?

807
00:28:28,333 --> 00:28:29,375
It's the windbreaker.

808
00:28:30,916 --> 00:28:31,916
<i>Incoming call from Emily.</i>

809
00:28:32,041 --> 00:28:33,750
Dad, why is Mom calling Jeff?

810
00:28:33,875 --> 00:28:36,625
Oh, uh, because I gave
Mom Jeff's contact info

811
00:28:36,750 --> 00:28:37,750
- in case--
- In case what?

812
00:28:37,875 --> 00:28:38,875
In case things
went really well,

813
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,458
and then we became,
like, best friends.

814
00:28:40,583 --> 00:28:41,416
We're all just, like,
hanging out together.

815
00:28:41,541 --> 00:28:42,541
It's like, hey--

816
00:28:42,666 --> 00:28:43,625
Well, we don't want
to disappoint her.

817
00:28:43,750 --> 00:28:44,708
No, no, no, no.

818
00:28:44,833 --> 00:28:46,833
Emily!
Hey, how you doing sweetie?

819
00:28:46,958 --> 00:28:50,000
Oh, hi.
Um, is this Jeff?

820
00:28:50,125 --> 00:28:51,041
<i>Hit me with it girl.</i>

821
00:28:51,166 --> 00:28:52,083
I can't wait to meet you
in person.

822
00:28:52,208 --> 00:28:53,416
I've heard so many good things.

823
00:28:53,541 --> 00:28:55,208
- Okay, hey--
- Brian won't shut up about you.

824
00:28:55,333 --> 00:28:56,208
- Hey, Em.
- <i>Hey.</i>

825
00:28:56,333 --> 00:28:57,541
Jeff sounds so nice.

826
00:28:57,666 --> 00:28:59,250
You said he was some kind
of like dumbass weirdo.

827
00:28:59,375 --> 00:29:00,541
No, no, no, no.
He's not a weirdo.

828
00:29:00,666 --> 00:29:02,375
No, no, no.
I said he's like a speirdo.

829
00:29:02,500 --> 00:29:04,791
He carries a lot of spirit
and funness.

830
00:29:04,916 --> 00:29:06,041
<i>Oh, a speirdo?</i>

831
00:29:06,166 --> 00:29:07,708
<i>Well, look at you
making friends.</i>

832
00:29:07,833 --> 00:29:09,208
<i>Oh, wow.</i>

833
00:29:09,333 --> 00:29:10,458
Are you guys in like
a high speed chase or something?

834
00:29:10,583 --> 00:29:11,625
Second one today.

835
00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:12,708
Crazy shit, right?

836
00:29:14,500 --> 00:29:15,583
It's insane indeed.

837
00:29:15,708 --> 00:29:17,375
Hey, how's that
conference going?

838
00:29:17,500 --> 00:29:18,625
<i>Pretty eventful,
actually.</i>

839
00:29:18,750 --> 00:29:20,500
You'll never guess
who I ran into.

840
00:29:20,625 --> 00:29:21,916
That's awesome.
Say hi for me.

841
00:29:26,166 --> 00:29:27,041
Buckle in, boys.

842
00:29:27,166 --> 00:29:28,208
What are you doing?

843
00:29:28,333 --> 00:29:29,458
Relax, Bri.

844
00:29:29,583 --> 00:29:32,041
Just let me do my thing.

845
00:29:33,333 --> 00:29:35,083
<i>♪ This is the rhythm
of the night ♪</i>

846
00:29:35,208 --> 00:29:36,625
<i>♪ The night... ♪</i>

847
00:29:39,291 --> 00:29:41,583
<i>♪ This is the rhythm
of the night ♪</i>

848
00:29:47,250 --> 00:29:48,500
Hey, hey.
Slow down.

849
00:29:48,625 --> 00:29:49,833
You're gonna kill someone.

850
00:29:50,958 --> 00:29:51,875
Hey, hey, hey!

851
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:53,333
<i>♪ Take me to the... ♪</i>

852
00:29:55,166 --> 00:29:56,333
What are you crazy?

853
00:29:58,375 --> 00:29:59,375
Oh, my God.

854
00:30:02,958 --> 00:30:04,666
<i>♪ Feel you give me love again ♪</i>

855
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:09,500
Whoa.

856
00:30:09,625 --> 00:30:12,958
<i>♪ Round and round we go
each time I hear you say ♪</i>

857
00:30:14,541 --> 00:30:17,333
<i>♪ This is the rhythm
of the night ♪</i>

858
00:30:17,458 --> 00:30:20,125
<i>♪ The night, oh yeah ♪</i>

859
00:30:20,250 --> 00:30:21,541
Hey, stop!

860
00:30:21,666 --> 00:30:23,083
- Stop!
- No, no, no.

861
00:30:23,208 --> 00:30:24,125
- Move.
- No, no, no.

862
00:30:24,250 --> 00:30:25,333
Move.

863
00:30:25,458 --> 00:30:26,458
- Move.
- No!

864
00:30:26,583 --> 00:30:28,291
Move.

865
00:30:28,416 --> 00:30:29,708
Read the signs!

866
00:30:29,833 --> 00:30:30,791
They're suggestions.

867
00:30:30,916 --> 00:30:32,541
<i>♪ The rhythm of the night ♪</i>

868
00:30:34,833 --> 00:30:37,500
Hands on the wheel!
Hands on the wheel!

869
00:30:37,625 --> 00:30:39,500
[shouts] Oh my God!

870
00:30:43,041 --> 00:30:44,250
Go, go, go!

871
00:30:44,375 --> 00:30:46,541
No! Holy shit!

872
00:30:48,250 --> 00:30:49,458
- Hey, there's a baby!
- Baby.

873
00:30:49,583 --> 00:30:51,000
There's a baby!

874
00:30:51,125 --> 00:30:52,500
Run!

875
00:30:53,750 --> 00:30:55,291
Are you purposely trying
to hit people?

876
00:30:55,416 --> 00:30:57,291
- Uh-uh. Oh, shit.
- No!

877
00:30:57,416 --> 00:30:59,041
<i>♪ This is the rhythm
of the night ♪</i>

878
00:31:00,250 --> 00:31:01,541
<i>♪ The night ♪</i>

879
00:31:01,666 --> 00:31:03,083
<i>♪ Oh, yeah ♪</i>

880
00:31:03,208 --> 00:31:04,416
Ha-ha.

881
00:31:04,541 --> 00:31:05,375
<i>- ♪ The rhythm of the night ♪</i>
- It's you.

882
00:31:05,500 --> 00:31:06,958
- No!
- It's on you.

883
00:31:07,083 --> 00:31:09,083
Take the wheel.
All right.

884
00:31:09,208 --> 00:31:11,041
- Whoo!
- Keep going.

885
00:31:15,125 --> 00:31:17,750
Look out! Oh, my God.

886
00:31:23,208 --> 00:31:25,125
<i>We got a problem here?</i>

887
00:31:25,250 --> 00:31:27,041
<i>We got a problem here?</i>

888
00:31:27,166 --> 00:31:29,041
<i>We got a problem?</i>

889
00:31:31,666 --> 00:31:32,583
Oh, shit.

890
00:31:32,708 --> 00:31:33,875
Dad, the police.

891
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:35,625
Oh my god!
Are you serious?

892
00:31:35,750 --> 00:31:37,000
Still want me to pull over?

893
00:31:37,125 --> 00:31:38,625
Remember, you're
a child abductor.

894
00:31:38,750 --> 00:31:39,958
You're a child abductor, Dad?

895
00:31:40,083 --> 00:31:41,166
- Put your headphones on.
- He is.

896
00:31:44,375 --> 00:31:46,125
Man, what are we gonna do?

897
00:31:50,416 --> 00:31:53,041
Boom!
That was cool of them, right?

898
00:31:59,875 --> 00:32:00,791
Look at this.

899
00:32:00,916 --> 00:32:02,041
It's like our tribe.

900
00:32:02,166 --> 00:32:03,708
The Mama Mafia.

901
00:32:03,833 --> 00:32:05,541
A bunch of drunk ass
soccer moms.

902
00:32:05,666 --> 00:32:06,708
Probably on their way
to have lunch.

903
00:32:06,833 --> 00:32:07,833
What kind of food?

904
00:32:08,958 --> 00:32:10,375
<i>♪ They wanna let me in ♪</i>

905
00:32:10,500 --> 00:32:13,541
<i>♪ but they're watching
my game ESPN ♪</i>

906
00:32:13,666 --> 00:32:15,916
<i>♪ studying the moves,
trying to replicate... ♪</i>

907
00:32:17,875 --> 00:32:20,041
Oh, shit.

908
00:32:20,166 --> 00:32:22,375
A fricking pedo
drives one of ours.

909
00:32:23,750 --> 00:32:25,000
What--what are you doing?

910
00:32:25,125 --> 00:32:28,000
Blending in, Bri.
Watch this shit.

911
00:32:28,125 --> 00:32:30,000
Easy, easy. Whoa, whoa!

912
00:32:31,500 --> 00:32:32,791
What the hell's she doing?

913
00:32:32,916 --> 00:32:34,375
- What the hell are you doing?
- Look, I can't be seen.

914
00:32:34,500 --> 00:32:36,000
You got an Amber alert on you, bro.

915
00:32:36,125 --> 00:32:37,791
I think we're way past that.

916
00:32:37,916 --> 00:32:40,041
Ladies, our day
has finally come.

917
00:32:40,166 --> 00:32:42,250
Pedo on the parkway,
and he's right behind me.

918
00:32:42,375 --> 00:32:43,666
<i>Oh my god, Leslie.
What do we do?</i>

919
00:32:43,791 --> 00:32:45,291
Assume the diamond formation.

920
00:32:45,416 --> 00:32:46,916
This is what we train for, ladies.

921
00:32:48,166 --> 00:32:49,250
<i>Roger that. I'm going in.</i>

922
00:32:49,375 --> 00:32:50,625
<i>Watch my six, Marla.</i>

923
00:32:50,750 --> 00:32:52,000
<i>Let's castrate this mother--</i>

924
00:32:52,125 --> 00:32:53,625
Whoa. Whoa. Hey, hey.
Why are you slowing down?

925
00:32:53,750 --> 00:32:55,208
Cuz your girlfriends
are boxing me in.

926
00:32:56,958 --> 00:32:57,958
It's on, Bri.

927
00:32:58,083 --> 00:32:59,000
I'm gonna ram the shit
out of ‘em.

928
00:32:59,125 --> 00:33:00,375
Yeah, ram ‘em.

929
00:33:00,500 --> 00:33:01,750
No, do not ram them.

930
00:33:04,958 --> 00:33:06,416
Oh, shit.

931
00:33:06,541 --> 00:33:08,000
- She's hot, bro.
- Don't start with her.

932
00:33:10,291 --> 00:33:11,708
Dude, she's a firecracker.

933
00:33:11,833 --> 00:33:13,333
I don't think
I can kill this one.

934
00:33:14,625 --> 00:33:15,625
What?

935
00:33:16,708 --> 00:33:18,041
Whoa. Shit.

936
00:33:18,166 --> 00:33:19,166
What up, bitch?

937
00:33:19,291 --> 00:33:20,416
Oh, I'm the bitch?

938
00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:21,583
I'm the bitch?!

939
00:33:23,458 --> 00:33:24,958
Can we not try
and kill her, please?

940
00:33:30,458 --> 00:33:32,333
Eli! Eli,
take your earphones out.

941
00:33:32,458 --> 00:33:34,125
Get Mama's taser from her purse.

942
00:33:35,291 --> 00:33:37,416
No, not that one,
the other taser.

943
00:33:37,541 --> 00:33:40,500
Yeah, you're gonna put your
Fortnite skills to use, sweetie.

944
00:33:40,625 --> 00:33:42,333
See that dickface
in the front seat?

945
00:33:43,750 --> 00:33:44,708
No.

946
00:33:44,833 --> 00:33:45,833
That's man's a pervert.

947
00:33:45,958 --> 00:33:47,375
What do we do
to perverts, honey?

948
00:33:47,500 --> 00:33:49,375
We zap him in the ball sack.

949
00:33:49,500 --> 00:33:50,583
Face works too, honey.

950
00:33:50,708 --> 00:33:52,083
Make Mama proud.

951
00:33:53,791 --> 00:33:55,291
Little minion's trying
to execute me, dude.

952
00:33:55,416 --> 00:33:56,375
Just shut the window.

953
00:33:56,500 --> 00:33:58,041
I'm not backing down, Brian.

954
00:33:58,166 --> 00:33:59,458
- He's the enemy.
- He's 12!

955
00:33:59,583 --> 00:34:00,833
Exactly!

956
00:34:00,958 --> 00:34:02,500
Eli, what the hell
are you waiting for?

957
00:34:02,625 --> 00:34:03,583
Take him down!

958
00:34:04,833 --> 00:34:06,375
You ain't gonna do it.
You ain't shit, bro.

959
00:34:06,500 --> 00:34:08,125
You ain't shit!

960
00:34:13,833 --> 00:34:14,958
Oh my god!

961
00:34:15,083 --> 00:34:16,583
Did you just see that?

962
00:34:22,833 --> 00:34:23,750
Dad, they're not stopping!

963
00:34:23,875 --> 00:34:25,000
What are we gonna do?

964
00:34:25,125 --> 00:34:26,416
Relax, Bri.

965
00:34:26,541 --> 00:34:28,250
These things have a way
of working themselves out.

966
00:34:29,333 --> 00:34:30,333
Ooh.

967
00:34:30,458 --> 00:34:31,958
You see what I'm saying, Bri?

968
00:34:32,083 --> 00:34:33,750
Woo! Yes!

969
00:34:33,875 --> 00:34:35,333
Oh my, pound it, dude!

970
00:34:35,458 --> 00:34:36,458
- Pound it!
- No!

971
00:34:36,583 --> 00:34:37,583
I'm not pounding it!

972
00:34:43,833 --> 00:34:45,208
- Whoo!
- Whoo!

973
00:34:45,333 --> 00:34:46,916
All right, that's it.
We're out of here.

974
00:34:47,041 --> 00:34:48,125
Totally.

975
00:34:48,250 --> 00:34:49,250
Let's take a breather, Bri-Bri.

976
00:34:49,375 --> 00:34:50,458
Stop calling me Bri-Bri, okay?

977
00:34:50,583 --> 00:34:51,458
We're not friends.

978
00:34:51,583 --> 00:34:52,958
Wow.

979
00:34:53,083 --> 00:34:54,791
What the hell is that?

980
00:34:54,916 --> 00:34:56,250
Thanks to your creepy
Amber alert,

981
00:34:56,375 --> 00:34:57,333
we got to steal another one.

982
00:34:57,458 --> 00:34:58,458
You stole that?

983
00:34:58,583 --> 00:35:00,708
You think I bought
some bitch-ass minivan?

984
00:35:00,833 --> 00:35:02,125
That's it.
CJ, Lucas, we are going.

985
00:35:02,250 --> 00:35:03,416
We're out of here.

986
00:35:03,541 --> 00:35:04,416
You're not taking CJ.

987
00:35:04,541 --> 00:35:05,791
Oh, I absolutely am.

988
00:35:05,916 --> 00:35:07,166
- Where are you gonna go?
- Home.

989
00:35:07,291 --> 00:35:08,250
Out of here.

990
00:35:08,375 --> 00:35:09,791
Away from this
freaking insanity.

991
00:35:10,875 --> 00:35:11,750
Yeah.

992
00:35:11,875 --> 00:35:12,791
Oh, my God!

993
00:35:12,916 --> 00:35:14,416
Not a good idea, Bri-Bri.

994
00:35:16,375 --> 00:35:18,666
Really? Why not?

995
00:35:18,791 --> 00:35:20,375
‘Cause they're gonna find you
and your family

996
00:35:20,500 --> 00:35:22,583
and murder the shit out
of every last one of you.

997
00:35:23,750 --> 00:35:24,708
What's your problem?

998
00:35:24,833 --> 00:35:27,166
Hey, Lucas,
stay in eyesight, huh?

999
00:35:27,291 --> 00:35:28,458
How are they gonna find me, huh?

1000
00:35:28,583 --> 00:35:30,041
Cause they found me, Bri.

1001
00:35:30,166 --> 00:35:31,625
And I drove 200 miles
to escape 'em.

1002
00:35:31,750 --> 00:35:33,000
Ugh.

1003
00:35:35,166 --> 00:35:36,250
Okay.

1004
00:35:41,708 --> 00:35:43,000
Wait.

1005
00:35:43,125 --> 00:35:44,708
Okay, if I tell you the story,
you gotta promise

1006
00:35:44,833 --> 00:35:46,458
to keep an open mind.

1007
00:35:46,583 --> 00:35:48,166
You don't look like
you're gonna keep an open mind.

1008
00:35:48,291 --> 00:35:50,291
I will keep an open mind.
Can you just go?

1009
00:35:50,416 --> 00:35:53,083
So remember that security gig
I took when I left the army?

1010
00:35:54,333 --> 00:35:56,666
Well, it was at this
top secret building.

1011
00:35:56,791 --> 00:35:58,541
<i>I didn't know who owned it
or what went on in there</i>

1012
00:35:58,666 --> 00:36:00,750
<i>because I was never
allowed inside.</i>

1013
00:36:00,875 --> 00:36:02,291
<i>The job was pretty strenuous.</i>

1014
00:36:02,416 --> 00:36:04,041
<i>Lots of problem solving.</i>

1015
00:36:04,166 --> 00:36:06,458
<i>And I got to pretend
I was Kung Fu freaking Panda,</i>

1016
00:36:06,583 --> 00:36:07,750
<i>which was pretty
freaking awesome.</i>

1017
00:36:07,875 --> 00:36:08,791
Hiya!

1018
00:36:10,625 --> 00:36:12,708
<i>So all I was told to do
was patrol the area</i>

1019
00:36:12,833 --> 00:36:15,000
<i>and submit
to random drug tests,</i> Ow.

1020
00:36:15,125 --> 00:36:16,750
which I have no idea
how I passed,

1021
00:36:16,875 --> 00:36:20,750
'cause there's like literally
no chance I passed.

1022
00:36:20,875 --> 00:36:23,166
Anyway, so when I was working
this top secret building,

1023
00:36:23,291 --> 00:36:24,583
<i>the only other employee
I ever saw there</i>

1024
00:36:24,708 --> 00:36:25,666
<i>was this bearded dude</i>

1025
00:36:25,791 --> 00:36:28,333
<i>who looked just
like Zach Galifianakis.</i>

1026
00:36:28,458 --> 00:36:30,666
But it wasn't him, 'cause
I asked him once and he said,

1027
00:36:30,791 --> 00:36:32,583
"No, but I get that
all the time."

1028
00:36:32,708 --> 00:36:35,291
<i>You see, we were never allowed
to give our real names.</i>

1029
00:36:35,416 --> 00:36:38,375
So I just called him
Galifianak-ish.

1030
00:36:38,500 --> 00:36:40,166
So a few weeks ago,

1031
00:36:40,291 --> 00:36:42,375
<i>this truck pulls up to the
warehouse with a package,</i>

1032
00:36:42,500 --> 00:36:43,750
<i>which was super weird</i>

1033
00:36:43,875 --> 00:36:45,416
<i>because I don't even have
an Amazon account.</i>

1034
00:36:48,333 --> 00:36:49,875
<i>I didn't want to leave it
outside all night</i>

1035
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:51,166
<i>in case it was something
super important,</i>

1036
00:36:51,291 --> 00:36:52,541
<i>like the Ark of the Covenant.</i>

1037
00:36:56,250 --> 00:36:57,416
<i>So I brought it in.</i>

1038
00:36:59,666 --> 00:37:00,666
<i>And that's when I heard it.</i>

1039
00:37:00,791 --> 00:37:02,750
Oh, shit.

1040
00:37:02,875 --> 00:37:04,916
You're surrounded, asshole!

1041
00:37:05,041 --> 00:37:06,666
We're--we're all gonna
blow your head off.

1042
00:37:08,333 --> 00:37:09,708
Oh my god.
Who's there?

1043
00:37:09,833 --> 00:37:11,458
I'm in here.

1044
00:37:11,583 --> 00:37:12,625
<i>So I busted
through the door</i>

1045
00:37:12,750 --> 00:37:14,250
<i>because I'm big
and freaking awesome.</i>

1046
00:37:17,416 --> 00:37:18,833
<i>And then what did I do?</i>

1047
00:37:20,333 --> 00:37:22,416
<i>♪ I can't live... ♪</i>

1048
00:37:22,541 --> 00:37:25,000
<i>I rescued him like a rescuer.</i>

1049
00:37:25,125 --> 00:37:26,500
<i>Like the</i> Yellowstone <i>guy
from</i> The Bodyguard <i>,</i>

1050
00:37:26,625 --> 00:37:29,541
<i>but way more badass and cool.</i>

1051
00:37:29,666 --> 00:37:31,125
<i>♪ I can't give... ♪</i>

1052
00:37:31,250 --> 00:37:33,583
And there you have it.

1053
00:37:33,708 --> 00:37:35,208
- There you have it?
- Yeah.

1054
00:37:35,333 --> 00:37:37,375
You are gorilla-ass crazy.

1055
00:37:37,500 --> 00:37:38,833
Do you understand that?

1056
00:37:38,958 --> 00:37:40,375
<i>♪ Destroy ♪</i>

1057
00:37:40,500 --> 00:37:42,083
Agh!

1058
00:37:42,208 --> 00:37:43,708
Liquid Psycho.

1059
00:37:43,833 --> 00:37:45,666
This stuff's amazing, huh?

1060
00:37:48,583 --> 00:37:51,000
A thousand milligrams
of caffeine.

1061
00:37:51,125 --> 00:37:52,583
Is that a lot?

1062
00:37:55,916 --> 00:37:57,625
I mean, I feel like I'm on fire.

1063
00:37:57,750 --> 00:38:01,416
Like I'm riding a dragon,
like, like I'm white lightning!

1064
00:38:04,458 --> 00:38:06,500
Kids! Kids!

1065
00:38:06,625 --> 00:38:08,833
Oh my god! Calm down!

1066
00:38:51,208 --> 00:38:52,958
Now, who are these guys?

1067
00:38:53,083 --> 00:38:55,041
Why don't we just go
to the cops?

1068
00:38:55,166 --> 00:38:58,583
Well, there was
a little misunderstanding.

1069
00:38:58,708 --> 00:39:00,000
What type
of misunderstanding?

1070
00:39:00,125 --> 00:39:02,708
Good morning.
So here's the deal.

1071
00:39:02,833 --> 00:39:05,041
He's not my kid, but
he's definitely someone's kid,

1072
00:39:05,166 --> 00:39:06,041
so I had to steal him away.

1073
00:39:06,166 --> 00:39:07,583
But now that I stole him,

1074
00:39:07,708 --> 00:39:10,958
I think someone's coming
after us trying to kill us.

1075
00:39:11,083 --> 00:39:12,416
You guys know
what I'm saying, right?

1076
00:39:14,625 --> 00:39:17,666
<i>♪ I can't live ♪</i>

1077
00:39:18,375 --> 00:39:21,708
<i>- ♪ if living is without you ♪
- </i>

1078
00:39:21,833 --> 00:39:24,791
<i>♪ Can't live ♪</i>

1079
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:27,000
That is quite
a misunderstanding.

1080
00:39:27,125 --> 00:39:28,583
Right?

1081
00:39:28,708 --> 00:39:33,666
So cops are kind of out
of the question now.

1082
00:39:33,791 --> 00:39:34,833
What?

1083
00:39:47,500 --> 00:39:48,416
Is he coming?

1084
00:39:48,541 --> 00:39:50,291
Check it. I stole these.

1085
00:39:52,333 --> 00:39:53,666
No freakin' way.

1086
00:39:53,791 --> 00:39:55,208
Pukas.

1087
00:39:55,333 --> 00:39:56,958
What's up, Pukas?

1088
00:39:57,083 --> 00:39:58,083
Is this your new girlfriend?

1089
00:40:01,375 --> 00:40:02,750
We got a problem here?

1090
00:40:03,875 --> 00:40:07,166
We got a problem here, punk ass?

1091
00:40:08,416 --> 00:40:10,750
Oh, shit.

1092
00:40:10,875 --> 00:40:11,791
You're frickin' dead.

1093
00:40:11,916 --> 00:40:12,833
<i>♪ Straight outta Compton ♪</i>

1094
00:40:12,958 --> 00:40:15,083
<i>♪ crazy brotha named Ice Cube ♪</i>

1095
00:40:15,208 --> 00:40:17,041
<i>♪ from the stupid-dope gang
wit a attitude ♪</i>

1096
00:40:17,166 --> 00:40:18,250
<i>♪ So when I'm in
your neighborhood ♪</i>

1097
00:40:18,375 --> 00:40:19,458
<i>♪ you better duck ♪</i>

1098
00:40:19,583 --> 00:40:21,750
<i>♪ 'cause Ice Cube
is crazy as...♪</i>

1099
00:40:21,875 --> 00:40:24,291
<i>♪ as I leave
believe I'm stompin' now ♪</i>

1100
00:40:28,750 --> 00:40:30,750
- Yeah!
<i>- ♪ Compton ♪</i>

1101
00:40:30,875 --> 00:40:32,458
So nothing you've told me
is true.

1102
00:40:32,583 --> 00:40:34,000
There's no dead wife.

1103
00:40:34,125 --> 00:40:35,250
Well, that's good news, right?

1104
00:40:35,375 --> 00:40:36,791
Okay.
So let me get this straight.

1105
00:40:36,916 --> 00:40:39,208
There's a group of hardcore guys
out there that wanna kill me

1106
00:40:39,333 --> 00:40:41,916
and my entire family,
all because you stole CJ

1107
00:40:42,041 --> 00:40:43,208
from some secret facility.

1108
00:40:43,333 --> 00:40:44,250
- Is that it?
- Yeah.

1109
00:40:44,375 --> 00:40:46,208
Anything else you lied about?

1110
00:40:46,333 --> 00:40:47,875
Actually, I might have lied

1111
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:48,875
about something else.

1112
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:50,125
Yeah, I'm feeling that.

1113
00:40:50,250 --> 00:40:53,541
CJ's name
isn't Christopher Jif.

1114
00:40:53,666 --> 00:40:54,791
It's not?

1115
00:40:54,916 --> 00:40:55,875
That's a peanut butter.

1116
00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:57,375
I don't know
what it stands for.

1117
00:40:57,500 --> 00:40:59,750
So, you're right, Bri.

1118
00:40:59,875 --> 00:41:01,625
All we have is each other now.

1119
00:41:01,750 --> 00:41:03,041
I never said that.

1120
00:41:03,166 --> 00:41:04,791
Lucas, CJ, let's go.

1121
00:41:04,958 --> 00:41:05,833
Where the hell are they?

1122
00:41:05,958 --> 00:41:07,625
Lucas! CJ!

1123
00:41:07,750 --> 00:41:08,958
CJ!

1124
00:41:10,541 --> 00:41:11,500
Oh, my God!

1125
00:41:11,625 --> 00:41:12,583
They found us.

1126
00:41:15,750 --> 00:41:16,583
What are you doing?

1127
00:41:16,708 --> 00:41:17,583
Stealing a car.

1128
00:41:17,708 --> 00:41:20,875
Eenie-meenie-miney-mo.

1129
00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:23,333
Now is this meant to be
or is this meant to be?

1130
00:41:23,458 --> 00:41:25,041
- I'm gonna get my kid.
- Bri-Bri!

1131
00:41:26,125 --> 00:41:27,291
Damn it.

1132
00:41:41,250 --> 00:41:42,708
Lucas!

1133
00:41:48,500 --> 00:41:49,833
Lucas!

1134
00:41:49,958 --> 00:41:51,750
- What's happening?
- Lucas!

1135
00:41:51,875 --> 00:41:53,625
She brought a casserole.
It was awful.

1136
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:08,375
- Lucas!
- What's going on?

1137
00:42:09,708 --> 00:42:11,166
Lucas!

1138
00:42:13,041 --> 00:42:14,291
Oh, my God!

1139
00:42:20,666 --> 00:42:22,041
Lucas!

1140
00:42:26,666 --> 00:42:28,000
Lucas!

1141
00:42:32,708 --> 00:42:34,250
It's okay. It's okay.

1142
00:42:34,375 --> 00:42:35,875
I got you, all right?

1143
00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:40,125
- You're safe, you're safe.
- No, no. Where's Jeff?

1144
00:42:40,250 --> 00:42:41,375
We don't need Jeff, okay?

1145
00:42:41,500 --> 00:42:43,583
No, we gotta find Jeff.

1146
00:42:43,708 --> 00:42:45,916
He needs to protect us, Dad.

1147
00:42:46,041 --> 00:42:47,500
We gotta find him.

1148
00:42:49,958 --> 00:42:51,208
No, no, no!

1149
00:42:51,333 --> 00:42:52,541
No!

1150
00:42:52,666 --> 00:42:53,666
No! No, no, no! No!

1151
00:42:56,125 --> 00:42:57,208
You see that?

1152
00:42:57,333 --> 00:42:58,583
Sick, right?

1153
00:42:58,708 --> 00:43:00,250
God, I'm good!

1154
00:43:00,375 --> 00:43:01,750
Okay, not bad.

1155
00:43:07,750 --> 00:43:08,875
Dad, they're still coming.

1156
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:10,750
Go, go, go, go!

1157
00:43:12,833 --> 00:43:13,708
Are they coming?

1158
00:43:16,416 --> 00:43:17,791
How do they keep finding us?

1159
00:43:17,916 --> 00:43:19,625
You thinking <i>Treadstone?</i>

1160
00:43:19,750 --> 00:43:21,166
Okay, that's a movie.
That's not real.

1161
00:43:21,291 --> 00:43:22,541
You know,
the way they track Matt Damon.

1162
00:43:22,666 --> 00:43:24,666
You know, everything on us
is traceable.

1163
00:43:24,791 --> 00:43:26,708
That's it.
They have my phone.

1164
00:43:26,833 --> 00:43:28,625
They're--they're tracking Lucas
with my phone.

1165
00:43:28,750 --> 00:43:30,083
Okay, Lucas,
take your GPS button

1166
00:43:30,208 --> 00:43:31,208
and turn it off, okay?

1167
00:43:31,333 --> 00:43:32,208
And keep it off.

1168
00:43:33,500 --> 00:43:34,458
Yeah, keep it off, Lucas.

1169
00:43:34,583 --> 00:43:36,375
This is all your fault.

1170
00:43:36,500 --> 00:43:37,375
I'm kidding, dude.

1171
00:43:37,500 --> 00:43:38,791
I'm kidding.

1172
00:43:38,916 --> 00:43:41,291
It's mostly your fault,
but not all your fault.

1173
00:43:41,416 --> 00:43:42,833
Thanks for what you did
back there.

1174
00:43:44,041 --> 00:43:46,000
That was really cool of you.

1175
00:43:46,125 --> 00:43:47,000
Cool.

1176
00:43:50,666 --> 00:43:52,916
Ow.

1177
00:43:55,541 --> 00:43:58,375
Huh, this is crazy.

1178
00:43:58,500 --> 00:44:00,375
I don't even know
what I'm thinking, man.

1179
00:44:00,500 --> 00:44:02,458
- What?
- Can't even be a good dad.

1180
00:44:02,583 --> 00:44:04,000
What are you talking about?

1181
00:44:04,125 --> 00:44:06,416
You're the one
who saved him, Bri.

1182
00:44:06,541 --> 00:44:08,416
You're a great dad.

1183
00:44:08,541 --> 00:44:11,125
And you got a great kid.

1184
00:44:11,250 --> 00:44:12,375
Kid who loves you.

1185
00:44:13,833 --> 00:44:15,041
I don't know about that.

1186
00:44:17,041 --> 00:44:21,208
You know... I gotta tell you
being a stepdad is...

1187
00:44:21,333 --> 00:44:24,875
I thought I'd have kids
in my 20s or 30s.

1188
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:25,958
That didn't happen.

1189
00:44:26,083 --> 00:44:27,541
I was okay with that.

1190
00:44:27,666 --> 00:44:29,916
But then they put Emily
in my life

1191
00:44:30,041 --> 00:44:32,583
and I was like, wow, you know,
this amazing woman

1192
00:44:32,708 --> 00:44:35,833
who's kind of
out of my league.

1193
00:44:35,958 --> 00:44:38,541
Totally out of your league.
Like way, way out.

1194
00:44:38,666 --> 00:44:39,916
- Okay.
- Like looks.

1195
00:44:40,041 --> 00:44:41,958
- Yeah, that.
- Personality.

1196
00:44:42,083 --> 00:44:43,333
Pretty much every way possible.

1197
00:44:43,458 --> 00:44:45,791
I got it.
I got what you're saying.

1198
00:44:45,916 --> 00:44:47,500
And she came with this kid...

1199
00:44:52,541 --> 00:44:58,458
and he started calling me Dad
and I was like, “Oh, man.”

1200
00:44:58,583 --> 00:45:01,541
You know, I don't know how
to do this stuff, you know?

1201
00:45:01,666 --> 00:45:05,375
And I thought I didn't even
deserve to be called Dad.

1202
00:45:05,500 --> 00:45:09,166
I started feeling bad
for him, you know?

1203
00:45:09,291 --> 00:45:11,666
He got saddled with
an old guy like me.

1204
00:45:11,791 --> 00:45:14,125
What are you,
a cool guy like you?

1205
00:45:14,250 --> 00:45:16,375
Bri, you're a great guy.

1206
00:45:16,500 --> 00:45:20,416
Like, I'd kill
to have a dad like you.

1207
00:45:20,541 --> 00:45:22,958
And the way you take care
of him is so cool.

1208
00:45:30,666 --> 00:45:33,208
We gotta get
them some place safe, okay?

1209
00:45:33,333 --> 00:45:35,666
Some place completely
off the grid.

1210
00:45:37,166 --> 00:45:40,083
I know just the place.

1211
00:45:40,208 --> 00:45:42,416
They'll never find us.

1212
00:45:47,750 --> 00:45:49,583
This is where we're hiding out?

1213
00:45:49,708 --> 00:45:50,958
Sick, right?

1214
00:45:57,583 --> 00:45:59,833
- Look at you.
- Gordon, I'm naked!

1215
00:46:01,000 --> 00:46:02,208
- Jeff?
- Hey, Gordon.

1216
00:46:02,333 --> 00:46:03,375
Hey.

1217
00:46:03,500 --> 00:46:04,500
Brian, this is Gordon,

1218
00:46:04,625 --> 00:46:06,916
- my estranged deadbeat dad.
- Pleasure.

1219
00:46:07,041 --> 00:46:09,375
That's Lucas, Brian's son,
and this here is CJ.

1220
00:46:09,500 --> 00:46:12,250
Ah, you never told me
you had a kid.

1221
00:46:12,375 --> 00:46:13,250
I don't have a kid.

1222
00:46:13,375 --> 00:46:15,583
Are you blind?

1223
00:46:15,708 --> 00:46:18,375
He's the spitting image of you
when you were his age.

1224
00:46:18,500 --> 00:46:20,333
I think.

1225
00:46:20,458 --> 00:46:23,125
Did, uh, Jeff mention
I abandoned him

1226
00:46:23,250 --> 00:46:24,166
when he was four?

1227
00:46:24,291 --> 00:46:25,333
Not yet, no, no.

1228
00:46:25,458 --> 00:46:26,500
Good. Good.

1229
00:46:26,625 --> 00:46:27,833
Well, come on in.

1230
00:46:27,958 --> 00:46:29,833
Let's go.

1231
00:46:29,958 --> 00:46:31,875
Hey, can you believe
he's still mad at me

1232
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:34,750
for something that happened
30 years ago?

1233
00:46:34,875 --> 00:46:37,458
You dropped me off
in an orphanage for girls.

1234
00:46:37,583 --> 00:46:40,625
And you're welcome.

1235
00:46:40,750 --> 00:46:43,125
Brian,
when--when his mom died,

1236
00:46:43,250 --> 00:46:45,291
I mean, I just--I panicked.

1237
00:46:45,416 --> 00:46:47,083
It was just me.

1238
00:46:47,208 --> 00:46:49,875
I was young, stupid.

1239
00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:53,625
I was afraid I was in
over my head being a dad,

1240
00:46:53,750 --> 00:46:57,083
but kept tabs on you, didn't I?

1241
00:46:57,208 --> 00:46:59,333
Here we go.
This is what I want to show you.

1242
00:46:59,458 --> 00:47:00,791
Here we go.

1243
00:47:00,916 --> 00:47:06,041
See, you two are dead ringers.

1244
00:47:06,166 --> 00:47:10,708
Oh, look at my little Jeffy
with all his foster families.

1245
00:47:10,833 --> 00:47:12,750
You're a lucky bastard.

1246
00:47:12,875 --> 00:47:14,041
Well...

1247
00:47:14,166 --> 00:47:15,375
He's not wrong.

1248
00:47:15,500 --> 00:47:16,541
He looks just like you.

1249
00:47:16,666 --> 00:47:20,125
CJ's my son?

1250
00:47:22,500 --> 00:47:23,458
What's going on here?

1251
00:47:23,583 --> 00:47:24,583
How's that even possible?

1252
00:47:24,708 --> 00:47:26,125
Do you even know
who his mom is?

1253
00:47:26,250 --> 00:47:27,916
Due to my deep-seated
emotional issues,

1254
00:47:28,041 --> 00:47:29,916
I've easily slept
with thousands and thousands

1255
00:47:30,041 --> 00:47:31,208
and thousands of women.

1256
00:47:31,333 --> 00:47:32,666
You're welcome.

1257
00:47:32,791 --> 00:47:34,333
How many women
have you slept with, Dad?

1258
00:47:34,458 --> 00:47:37,125
That's not your business.
That's none of your business.

1259
00:47:42,208 --> 00:47:44,083
So you're my son, little man.

1260
00:47:46,458 --> 00:47:48,541
No wonder you're so handsome
and awesome.

1261
00:47:48,666 --> 00:47:49,666
Hell yeah.

1262
00:47:49,791 --> 00:47:51,333
We're gonna make
such a good team.

1263
00:47:51,458 --> 00:47:52,583
We're gonna have
so much fun together.

1264
00:47:52,708 --> 00:47:54,000
Up high.

1265
00:47:55,791 --> 00:47:56,833
Hey, Jeff.

1266
00:47:58,833 --> 00:48:00,333
- Hey, Gordon.
- Yeah.

1267
00:48:00,458 --> 00:48:02,708
Can I talk to you for a second?

1268
00:48:02,833 --> 00:48:04,041
Look, um...

1269
00:48:06,208 --> 00:48:08,916
we need a favor.

1270
00:48:09,041 --> 00:48:10,291
These guys keep coming after us.

1271
00:48:10,416 --> 00:48:13,000
It's not safe for the kids.

1272
00:48:13,125 --> 00:48:15,166
Can we leave them here
for a bit?

1273
00:48:15,291 --> 00:48:16,416
We're hoping you can look
after them for a while

1274
00:48:16,541 --> 00:48:18,583
until we figure all this out.

1275
00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:24,583
Yeah, um...

1276
00:48:24,708 --> 00:48:25,916
Will you help me, Dad?

1277
00:48:28,166 --> 00:48:30,958
I can't. Sorry...

1278
00:48:33,583 --> 00:48:37,041
I'm just not that... guy.

1279
00:48:58,041 --> 00:49:00,625
<i>Oh, my God.</i>

1280
00:49:03,541 --> 00:49:04,541
You okay?

1281
00:49:06,666 --> 00:49:09,416
Man, we gotta find out
why they did this to you.

1282
00:49:09,541 --> 00:49:11,291
You know, why would anyone
want a kid from me?

1283
00:49:14,541 --> 00:49:17,416
Why should I be a dad?

1284
00:49:17,541 --> 00:49:19,375
You saw mine.

1285
00:49:19,500 --> 00:49:21,041
That's why I enlisted.

1286
00:49:21,166 --> 00:49:22,750
You know, I had my own team.

1287
00:49:22,875 --> 00:49:24,875
Finally had a family.

1288
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:26,416
And I couldn't even
do that right.

1289
00:49:34,541 --> 00:49:36,750
<i>Sarge, what are you doing?</i>

1290
00:49:36,875 --> 00:49:38,083
<i>Take him out!</i>

1291
00:49:39,541 --> 00:49:40,791
<i>I couldn't do it,</i>

1292
00:49:40,916 --> 00:49:42,583
<i>so they court-martialed me.</i>

1293
00:49:47,458 --> 00:49:50,541
You're still my
perfect soldier, Jeff.

1294
00:49:50,666 --> 00:49:53,541
I wish I had more of you.

1295
00:49:53,666 --> 00:49:55,083
Perfect soldier, my ass.

1296
00:49:57,708 --> 00:49:59,333
That's not a flaw, man,
at all.

1297
00:49:59,458 --> 00:50:01,541
I gotta be honest,
it sounds like that colonel guy,

1298
00:50:01,666 --> 00:50:03,375
like he really liked you.

1299
00:50:03,500 --> 00:50:05,750
Yeah, Colonel Kurtz.

1300
00:50:05,875 --> 00:50:08,000
He always had my back.

1301
00:50:08,125 --> 00:50:09,625
That's what it's all about, see?

1302
00:50:11,625 --> 00:50:13,750
Letting them know
that we have their backs.

1303
00:50:15,791 --> 00:50:17,458
<i>♪ I got it, you got it ♪</i>

1304
00:50:17,583 --> 00:50:19,500
<i>♪ Mm, they want it ♪</i>

1305
00:50:25,708 --> 00:50:27,250
Wow, yeah.

1306
00:50:27,375 --> 00:50:28,541
He's definitely your son.

1307
00:50:38,583 --> 00:50:39,666
What are you doing?

1308
00:50:39,791 --> 00:50:41,541
Uh, nothing.
I mean, we just...

1309
00:50:41,666 --> 00:50:42,625
It's kind of like
we eat the same thing.

1310
00:50:42,750 --> 00:50:44,791
It's like, you know,
just like when you...

1311
00:50:44,916 --> 00:50:47,041
You were eating [indistinct].

1312
00:50:49,500 --> 00:50:52,083
We gotta figure out
why they did this to you.

1313
00:50:52,208 --> 00:50:54,958
You don't know anyone
in that top secret...

1314
00:50:55,083 --> 00:50:56,875
whatever?

1315
00:51:00,416 --> 00:51:02,833
- Zach Galifianak-ish.
- Whoa, whoa.

1316
00:51:02,958 --> 00:51:04,625
Easy, easy, easy.

1317
00:51:04,750 --> 00:51:05,750
I'm good.

1318
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:08,791
How in the world
are we gonna find this guy?

1319
00:51:08,916 --> 00:51:10,125
We're gonna pretend
to bang him.

1320
00:51:10,250 --> 00:51:11,333
What?

1321
00:51:16,250 --> 00:51:17,708
Zach couldn't get women

1322
00:51:17,833 --> 00:51:19,833
so he'd come to me to help him
with all his dating apps.

1323
00:51:19,958 --> 00:51:21,458
Zach had no game.

1324
00:51:21,583 --> 00:51:23,250
- Obviously, I do.
- Mm.

1325
00:51:23,375 --> 00:51:26,083
So I'd pretend to be him
and text all these girls for him

1326
00:51:26,208 --> 00:51:27,625
and I was amazing at it.

1327
00:51:29,291 --> 00:51:30,250
Whoo-hoo!

1328
00:51:30,375 --> 00:51:31,791
Daddy's back in business.

1329
00:51:31,916 --> 00:51:33,416
Oh boy.

1330
00:51:33,541 --> 00:51:35,041
This is the one.

1331
00:51:35,166 --> 00:51:36,750
I can get this one.

1332
00:51:36,875 --> 00:51:37,958
Why is that?

1333
00:51:38,083 --> 00:51:40,750
Because she's half blind!

1334
00:51:40,875 --> 00:51:42,875
She can't even see me.

1335
00:51:43,000 --> 00:51:44,458
That's pretty sweet.

1336
00:51:44,583 --> 00:51:47,333
Dude, is that my body?

1337
00:51:47,458 --> 00:51:48,875
Yeah, yeah.
I should have asked.

1338
00:51:49,000 --> 00:51:49,875
I got excited.

1339
00:51:51,041 --> 00:51:52,000
<i>And that's the plan.</i>

1340
00:51:52,125 --> 00:51:54,125
<i>We're gonna catfish
this bag of shit.</i>

1341
00:51:54,250 --> 00:51:55,416
<i>We don't need to find him.</i>

1342
00:51:55,541 --> 00:51:57,333
<i>We're gonna bring him to us.</i>

1343
00:51:57,458 --> 00:52:00,916
And our fake profile
name will be... Candi.

1344
00:52:02,041 --> 00:52:03,041
Candi?

1345
00:52:03,166 --> 00:52:04,458
What, you want
to call her Karen?

1346
00:52:04,583 --> 00:52:05,750
- I like Candi, Dad.
- Would you just--

1347
00:52:05,875 --> 00:52:09,500
Hey, just put your headphones on
and stop listening.

1348
00:52:09,625 --> 00:52:10,750
You sit back.

1349
00:52:10,875 --> 00:52:12,083
Let a master do the work.

1350
00:52:12,208 --> 00:52:13,833
Okay.

1351
00:52:13,958 --> 00:52:17,541
Well, hello, handsome sailor.

1352
00:52:17,666 --> 00:52:19,708
<i>Well, hello handsome sailor.</i>

1353
00:52:19,833 --> 00:52:21,250
Ugh, here we go again.

1354
00:52:21,375 --> 00:52:23,958
<i>I just got
into town and you are hot.</i>

1355
00:52:24,083 --> 00:52:28,041
Russian bots.
Nice try, Putin.

1356
00:52:28,166 --> 00:52:30,000
Blocked.

1357
00:52:30,125 --> 00:52:31,041
<i>This user has blocked you.</i>

1358
00:52:31,166 --> 00:52:32,166
What?

1359
00:52:32,291 --> 00:52:33,166
All right,
just give me the phone.

1360
00:52:33,291 --> 00:52:35,083
- Give it to me, all right?
- Relax, Bri.

1361
00:52:35,208 --> 00:52:37,791
Look, maybe this time you just
come in a little slower.

1362
00:52:37,916 --> 00:52:41,666
Listen,
you wanna get smashed or what?

1363
00:52:41,791 --> 00:52:42,750
Ugh.

1364
00:52:42,875 --> 00:52:44,166
Report.

1365
00:52:44,291 --> 00:52:45,458
<i>This user has reported you.</i>

1366
00:52:45,583 --> 00:52:46,666
What is his problem?

1367
00:52:46,791 --> 00:52:48,041
Give me this thing.
You're done.

1368
00:52:48,166 --> 00:52:49,250
What are you gonna do?

1369
00:52:49,375 --> 00:52:50,375
I'm telling you
what I'm gonna do.

1370
00:52:50,500 --> 00:52:52,583
I'm gonna come in nice
and slow, but steady.

1371
00:52:53,791 --> 00:52:55,000
Hi, I'm Emily.

1372
00:52:55,125 --> 00:52:56,583
Nice to meet you.

1373
00:52:56,708 --> 00:52:58,958
Oh, I'm on fire tonight.

1374
00:52:59,083 --> 00:53:01,583
I just read your profile.

1375
00:53:01,708 --> 00:53:05,958
I, too, am interested in...
Pterodactyls, bulimia,

1376
00:53:06,083 --> 00:53:09,458
Love is Blind,
and the Mormon culture.

1377
00:53:09,583 --> 00:53:11,000
Oh, this is so annoying.

1378
00:53:12,250 --> 00:53:15,125
Yes, it seems
like we have much in common,

1379
00:53:17,416 --> 00:53:19,583
but now
who's your favorite Mormon?

1380
00:53:19,708 --> 00:53:20,958
Favorite Mormon?

1381
00:53:21,083 --> 00:53:24,541
Favorite Mormon.
Uh...

1382
00:53:24,666 --> 00:53:25,666
<i>Top Gun Maverick.</i>

1383
00:53:25,791 --> 00:53:27,041
Not even a person.

1384
00:53:27,166 --> 00:53:28,083
Jay-Z.

1385
00:53:29,708 --> 00:53:32,625
<i>My favorite
Mormon is, of course, Jay-Z.</i>

1386
00:53:32,750 --> 00:53:34,083
Oh, she's the one.

1387
00:53:34,208 --> 00:53:38,708
It is so nice to talk with
someone actually normal here.

1388
00:53:38,833 --> 00:53:43,625
I hate when people come across
so disgusting and aggressive.

1389
00:53:43,750 --> 00:53:47,250
Get your grubby thoughts
off of me, you know?

1390
00:53:47,375 --> 00:53:48,500
Totally.

1391
00:53:48,625 --> 00:53:50,416
So do you want
to get smashed or not?

1392
00:53:51,541 --> 00:53:52,666
Yeah.

1393
00:53:52,791 --> 00:53:54,041
You see what I'm saying, Bri?

1394
00:53:56,416 --> 00:54:01,750
You want to know
what really turns me on?

1395
00:54:03,708 --> 00:54:05,875
<i>♪ I'm just a boy ♪</i>

1396
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:08,875
<i>♪ about to make love
to a woman ♪</i>

1397
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:13,291
<i>♪ about to make love
to a woman ♪</i>

1398
00:54:13,416 --> 00:54:16,000
<i>♪ some call it intercourse ♪</i>

1399
00:54:19,833 --> 00:54:21,833
- Oh, no.
- Mm-hm.

1400
00:54:21,958 --> 00:54:23,333
Oh, not again.

1401
00:54:23,458 --> 00:54:25,416
- Sup, bitch?
- Got you, fool.

1402
00:54:25,541 --> 00:54:27,416
Mmm, not going to jail.

1403
00:54:27,541 --> 00:54:28,375
Eat shit, [indistinct].

1404
00:54:31,666 --> 00:54:32,583
Okay.

1405
00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:37,750
You and I are gonna have
a very calm conversation.

1406
00:54:40,333 --> 00:54:41,958
What did you do to my son?

1407
00:54:42,083 --> 00:54:43,875
Dude, just please take
the hood off.

1408
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:45,583
I already know who you are, dumbass.

1409
00:54:45,708 --> 00:54:47,166
Oh, shit. Really?

1410
00:54:47,291 --> 00:54:48,291
Yeah, Jeff.

1411
00:54:48,416 --> 00:54:50,625
You're a pretty
specific looking guy.

1412
00:54:50,750 --> 00:54:51,875
Damn it!

1413
00:54:55,083 --> 00:54:56,125
I want answers.

1414
00:54:56,250 --> 00:54:57,875
Now.

1415
00:54:58,000 --> 00:54:59,458
Start talking, bro.

1416
00:54:59,583 --> 00:55:00,833
Uh-uh.

1417
00:55:00,958 --> 00:55:02,583
Oh, you want to get
waterboarded?

1418
00:55:02,708 --> 00:55:03,833
What?

1419
00:55:03,958 --> 00:55:05,208
You asked for it.

1420
00:55:05,333 --> 00:55:06,375
How are you gonna...?

1421
00:55:07,916 --> 00:55:09,416
That's not how you waterboard,
Jeff.

1422
00:55:09,541 --> 00:55:10,708
That's right.

1423
00:55:10,833 --> 00:55:12,750
What are you,
making me a protein shake?

1424
00:55:12,875 --> 00:55:14,916
Be prepared to talk, bitch.

1425
00:55:15,041 --> 00:55:18,208
- Not--Oh, come on.
- Are you thirsty?

1426
00:55:18,333 --> 00:55:20,625
Yeah, how do you
like them apples?!

1427
00:55:20,750 --> 00:55:21,791
Okay.

1428
00:55:21,916 --> 00:55:23,083
Can I talk to you for a second?

1429
00:55:23,208 --> 00:55:24,166
I was about to break him.

1430
00:55:24,291 --> 00:55:25,375
Get over here.

1431
00:55:27,166 --> 00:55:28,458
Ugh.

1432
00:55:29,875 --> 00:55:31,041
Yes, Mom?

1433
00:55:31,166 --> 00:55:33,791
Yeah, well,
what's going on over here,

1434
00:55:33,916 --> 00:55:35,333
it's just not working, okay?

1435
00:55:35,458 --> 00:55:37,291
What?
When I almost killed him?

1436
00:55:37,416 --> 00:55:38,875
You moisturized him
is what you did.

1437
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:40,500
Okay, so you're bad cop?

1438
00:55:40,625 --> 00:55:41,958
- I can be bad cop.
- Okay.

1439
00:55:42,083 --> 00:55:43,333
- You can do it, Dad.
- Yeah, I know.

1440
00:55:43,458 --> 00:55:45,250
- Go get it out of him.
- I'll do it right now.

1441
00:55:45,375 --> 00:55:46,583
What are we gonna do?

1442
00:55:46,708 --> 00:55:47,916
What's that for?

1443
00:55:48,041 --> 00:55:49,208
Torture his ass.

1444
00:55:50,375 --> 00:55:52,833
<i>Reservoir Dogs.</i>

1445
00:55:52,958 --> 00:55:55,291
All right. Yeah, all right.

1446
00:55:55,416 --> 00:55:56,416
I can't wait to see this.

1447
00:55:56,541 --> 00:55:58,875
- <i>Reservoir Dogs</i> style.
- Yeah.

1448
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:02,375
Oh, God.

1449
00:56:02,500 --> 00:56:04,125
Who's laughing now, bitch?

1450
00:56:04,250 --> 00:56:08,000
<i>♪ Well, I don't know
why I came here tonight ♪</i>

1451
00:56:08,125 --> 00:56:10,958
<i>♪ I got the feeling that
Something ain't right ♪</i>

1452
00:56:11,083 --> 00:56:14,500
You look like Chris Christie
is on Dancing with the Stars.

1453
00:56:16,083 --> 00:56:17,125
He's not--he's not scared.

1454
00:56:17,250 --> 00:56:18,458
- He's not afraid.
- Don't be a quitter.

1455
00:56:18,583 --> 00:56:20,208
Get back in there.

1456
00:56:20,333 --> 00:56:21,208
Guess what?

1457
00:56:22,500 --> 00:56:25,208
Playtime is over.

1458
00:56:29,291 --> 00:56:30,291
Oh.

1459
00:56:37,625 --> 00:56:39,916
That's like
a traveling cosmetic kit.

1460
00:56:40,041 --> 00:56:41,083
You bet it is.

1461
00:56:41,208 --> 00:56:42,875
Pick your weapon, my friend.

1462
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:44,458
Uh, the toothbrush?

1463
00:56:44,583 --> 00:56:45,708
Do you want this in you?

1464
00:56:45,833 --> 00:56:46,833
Man, what?

1465
00:56:46,958 --> 00:56:48,125
I'll start this way.
I don't care.

1466
00:56:48,250 --> 00:56:49,666
Oh, my God,
stab him already.

1467
00:56:49,791 --> 00:56:51,875
Look, the two boys over there

1468
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:54,500
would probably do
a better job interrogating me.

1469
00:56:54,625 --> 00:56:57,208
Why don't you swap places
with them?

1470
00:56:58,541 --> 00:57:01,208
Hey, look at me.

1471
00:57:02,875 --> 00:57:06,541
You're making me look pathetic
in front of my kid, okay?

1472
00:57:06,666 --> 00:57:08,500
I'm not gonna
tell you anything, okay?

1473
00:57:08,625 --> 00:57:09,958
It doesn't matter
what you offer me.

1474
00:57:10,083 --> 00:57:11,166
It doesn't matter
what you do to me.

1475
00:57:11,291 --> 00:57:13,000
I'm not gonna tell you
what happened.

1476
00:57:14,208 --> 00:57:15,250
Here's exactly what happened.

1477
00:57:15,375 --> 00:57:17,166
So, how do I put this?

1478
00:57:17,291 --> 00:57:21,083
That--that kid over there,
that's--that's not your son.

1479
00:57:21,208 --> 00:57:23,125
Who somehow looks
a lot like you

1480
00:57:23,250 --> 00:57:27,458
is because he is
a genetic analog of you.

1481
00:57:27,583 --> 00:57:29,916
Genetic analog?

1482
00:57:30,041 --> 00:57:31,000
You mean like a clone?

1483
00:57:31,125 --> 00:57:32,541
Yeah. Smart kid.

1484
00:57:32,666 --> 00:57:34,458
Clone.

1485
00:57:34,583 --> 00:57:36,250
He's a genetic analog.
A clone.

1486
00:57:36,375 --> 00:57:38,000
His name's CJ.

1487
00:57:38,125 --> 00:57:41,041
That literally means
“Clone Jeff.”

1488
00:57:46,166 --> 00:57:48,458
So he's exactly like me?

1489
00:57:48,583 --> 00:57:51,083
Well, modified version of you.

1490
00:57:51,208 --> 00:57:54,291
See, he's faster, stronger,

1491
00:57:54,416 --> 00:57:57,916
and way smarter than you, okay.

1492
00:57:58,041 --> 00:57:59,333
He's a better version of you.

1493
00:57:59,458 --> 00:58:00,916
You are community college.

1494
00:58:01,041 --> 00:58:02,375
He is Harvard plus.

1495
00:58:03,875 --> 00:58:04,833
Why would you do this?

1496
00:58:04,958 --> 00:58:06,708
No, I didn't clone anyone.

1497
00:58:06,833 --> 00:58:08,458
I'm just like a babysitter.

1498
00:58:08,583 --> 00:58:09,541
Then who did this?

1499
00:58:09,666 --> 00:58:11,541
I--I--I can't tell you.

1500
00:58:11,666 --> 00:58:13,625
All I got is a name
and I'm not telling you

1501
00:58:13,750 --> 00:58:15,541
because they--ah, okay!

1502
00:58:15,666 --> 00:58:17,333
It's Simon Maddox.

1503
00:58:17,458 --> 00:58:18,416
Simon Maddox.

1504
00:58:18,541 --> 00:58:20,750
Put down the lamp.
Simon Maddox.

1505
00:58:20,875 --> 00:58:22,250
Who the hell is Simon Maddox?

1506
00:58:22,375 --> 00:58:24,083
Oh, wow.

1507
00:58:24,208 --> 00:58:27,333
You guys have no idea
what you just stepped into.

1508
00:58:33,625 --> 00:58:35,541
Okay.
Who is Simon Maddox?

1509
00:58:37,666 --> 00:58:39,416
And why the hell
would he clone Jeff?

1510
00:58:46,916 --> 00:58:52,000
Ergh. Aaagh!

1511
00:58:52,125 --> 00:58:53,875
Hah.

1512
00:58:54,000 --> 00:58:58,916
<i>♪ I used to sing and play the
blues in a little old band ♪</i>

1513
00:58:59,041 --> 00:59:04,458
<i>♪ We got brave and we hit
the road in a '61 van ♪</i>

1514
00:59:04,583 --> 00:59:06,125
Wow, this guy's a genius.

1515
00:59:08,708 --> 00:59:11,208
Oh man, super genius.

1516
00:59:11,333 --> 00:59:12,375
<i>Mm, mm, mm!</i>

1517
00:59:12,500 --> 00:59:13,958
<i>Get that fight in there.
Mm, mm, mm!</i>

1518
00:59:14,083 --> 00:59:16,291
Oof. Okay.
Also super creepy.

1519
00:59:17,583 --> 00:59:18,958
<i>♪ Fourteen dollars
in the kitty ♪</i>

1520
00:59:19,083 --> 00:59:22,833
<i>♪ when we left Folger City
and we headed down south ♪</i>

1521
00:59:22,958 --> 00:59:24,375
Whoa.

1522
00:59:24,500 --> 00:59:28,541
You can read my mind?

1523
00:59:28,666 --> 00:59:32,583
Yes. Crazy.

1524
00:59:35,208 --> 00:59:39,125
<i>♪ I turned toward the swamp
to look around ♪</i>

1525
00:59:39,250 --> 00:59:40,958
Hah! Hah!

1526
00:59:41,083 --> 00:59:43,208
<i>♪ Bayou Belle give
your guitar heck ♪</i>

1527
00:59:43,333 --> 00:59:44,875
Wait, I got an idea.

1528
00:59:46,458 --> 00:59:49,083
Alexa, play some
old-school hip-hop.

1529
00:59:50,625 --> 00:59:52,166
<i>♪ Ninety-nine, baby ♪</i>

1530
00:59:52,291 --> 00:59:53,833
<i>♪ I'm on the grind, baby ♪</i>

1531
00:59:55,000 --> 00:59:56,041
<i>♪ Show me something ♪</i>

1532
00:59:56,166 --> 00:59:58,291
<i>♪ You can do it
put your back into it ♪</i>

1533
00:59:58,416 --> 00:59:59,791
<i>♪ I can do it
put your into it... ♪</i>

1534
00:59:59,916 --> 01:00:01,583
Sick.

1535
01:00:01,708 --> 01:00:03,791
<i>♪ Tic-tic-boom, hear me banging
down these back streets ♪</i>

1536
01:00:03,916 --> 01:00:06,166
<i>♪ Bumpin' Blackstreet
treated like an athlete ♪</i>

1537
01:00:06,291 --> 01:00:07,875
<i>♪ we be clubbing
till the day we die ♪</i>

1538
01:00:08,000 --> 01:00:09,708
<i>♪ ask the bartender
if you think we lie... ♪</i>

1539
01:00:11,166 --> 01:00:12,625
Crap.

1540
01:00:12,750 --> 01:00:15,666
Hey, Em,
we're running a little bit late.

1541
01:00:15,791 --> 01:00:16,791
That's all, hon.

1542
01:00:16,916 --> 01:00:18,791
Em?

1543
01:00:18,916 --> 01:00:20,375
<i>♪ You can do it
put your back into it ♪</i>

1544
01:00:20,500 --> 01:00:22,166
Em?

1545
01:00:22,291 --> 01:00:25,083
<i>Look at your screen.</i>

1546
01:00:32,541 --> 01:00:35,041
<i>Would you like us
to follow Emily home?</i>

1547
01:00:35,166 --> 01:00:36,750
<i>Pay her a little visit?</i>

1548
01:00:36,875 --> 01:00:39,541
No. Would not like that.

1549
01:00:39,666 --> 01:00:42,083
<i>Then you bring the boy to us.</i>

1550
01:00:42,208 --> 01:00:44,958
<i>Drive to the coordinates
that we send to you.</i>

1551
01:00:45,083 --> 01:00:48,208
<i>Otherwise, we will
visit your wife.</i>

1552
01:01:02,083 --> 01:01:03,208
You see, Bri-Bri?

1553
01:01:03,333 --> 01:01:04,791
How much fun are you
having right now?

1554
01:01:04,916 --> 01:01:06,875
Whooh! God, you're good.

1555
01:01:07,000 --> 01:01:09,083
So how'd you track down
this Simon Maddox?

1556
01:01:09,208 --> 01:01:11,000
You do your forensic accounting?

1557
01:01:11,125 --> 01:01:12,041
Hm.

1558
01:01:13,958 --> 01:01:16,125
Bri-Bri? You okay?

1559
01:01:16,250 --> 01:01:18,500
Oh, yeah, yeah.

1560
01:01:18,625 --> 01:01:19,541
Okay.

1561
01:01:22,541 --> 01:01:24,500
Man, it's finally happening.

1562
01:01:24,625 --> 01:01:26,625
CJ and I
are finally connecting.

1563
01:01:26,750 --> 01:01:28,541
Isn't this incredible?

1564
01:01:28,666 --> 01:01:30,625
It is, yeah.

1565
01:01:30,750 --> 01:01:35,250
Hey, I gotta thank you
for that little talk earlier.

1566
01:01:35,375 --> 01:01:37,000
I think you're right.

1567
01:01:37,125 --> 01:01:38,666
I really am gonna
be the best dad.

1568
01:01:42,416 --> 01:01:43,625
He's got a gun!

1569
01:01:43,750 --> 01:01:45,000
Oh, my God!
They're gonna kill her!

1570
01:01:45,125 --> 01:01:46,083
So how much further, Bri-Bri?

1571
01:01:48,583 --> 01:01:50,375
No, no, not--not much.

1572
01:01:50,500 --> 01:01:53,333
Man, I can't wait to see
this ass-hat face-to-face.

1573
01:01:53,458 --> 01:01:54,333
Right, CJ?

1574
01:01:54,458 --> 01:01:55,375
Right.

1575
01:02:18,583 --> 01:02:20,041
Huh, this can't be right.

1576
01:02:20,166 --> 01:02:22,458
Pictured it more of like
an Area 51 type place.

1577
01:02:24,291 --> 01:02:26,375
Maybe you did your
forensicing wrong.

1578
01:02:33,541 --> 01:02:36,375
- Lucas, get in the van.
- Why?

1579
01:02:36,500 --> 01:02:37,833
Get in the van
right now, please.

1580
01:02:39,250 --> 01:02:42,208
Bri? What's going on?

1581
01:02:44,500 --> 01:02:46,416
Jeff, I'm so sorry.

1582
01:02:46,541 --> 01:02:47,458
For what?

1583
01:02:47,583 --> 01:02:48,500
Get down!

1584
01:02:48,625 --> 01:02:50,083
Freeze!
Don't you move!

1585
01:02:51,958 --> 01:02:54,333
Dude, they were coming
after Emily, all right?

1586
01:02:54,458 --> 01:02:56,958
They were firing guns
and--and everything, man.

1587
01:02:57,083 --> 01:02:59,333
I--I--I didn't know what to do.

1588
01:03:04,416 --> 01:03:05,416
<i>♪ Shake that, shake that ♪</i>

1589
01:03:05,541 --> 01:03:06,916
<i>♪ Shake that, shake that
go at best ♪</i>

1590
01:03:07,041 --> 01:03:07,958
<i>♪ Shake that, shake that ♪</i>

1591
01:03:08,083 --> 01:03:08,958
<i>♪ Make it jiggle
make it jiggle ♪</i>

1592
01:03:09,083 --> 01:03:10,333
<i>♪ Do a jump, split ♪</i>

1593
01:03:10,458 --> 01:03:11,458
<i>♪ Make it wiggle
Make it wiggle ♪</i>

1594
01:03:11,583 --> 01:03:12,458
<i>♪ Make that, make that ♪</i>

1595
01:03:12,583 --> 01:03:13,416
<i>♪ Wanna shake it? ♪</i>

1596
01:03:13,541 --> 01:03:14,541
<i>♪ Wanna... ♪</i>

1597
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:18,750
Who the hell are you?

1598
01:03:18,875 --> 01:03:22,250
Oh, you already know my name.

1599
01:03:22,375 --> 01:03:25,208
What's that?
Captain Dickface?

1600
01:03:25,333 --> 01:03:27,291
No.

1601
01:03:27,416 --> 01:03:29,166
This is Simon Maddox.

1602
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:35,458
Hey, you touch him
and I'll kill you!

1603
01:03:37,500 --> 01:03:38,583
Don't touch him!

1604
01:03:44,083 --> 01:03:45,416
Why are you doing this?

1605
01:03:45,541 --> 01:03:47,041
Why are you doing this anyway?

1606
01:03:48,291 --> 01:03:49,708
He's just a kid.

1607
01:03:49,833 --> 01:03:53,416
He is not just a kid.

1608
01:03:53,541 --> 01:03:54,708
Why me?

1609
01:03:56,333 --> 01:03:57,541
Why'd you do this to me?

1610
01:04:00,250 --> 01:04:01,833
I'm not the one
who can answer that.

1611
01:04:04,000 --> 01:04:05,000
Come on, CJ.

1612
01:04:05,125 --> 01:04:06,291
Wait, hold on.

1613
01:04:06,416 --> 01:04:07,708
Hold on.

1614
01:04:08,916 --> 01:04:11,000
Let me at least
say goodbye to him.

1615
01:04:11,125 --> 01:04:13,083
Trust me, this is harder
for you than it is for him.

1616
01:04:15,250 --> 01:04:19,250
CJ isn't capable of making
any emotional connections.

1617
01:04:19,375 --> 01:04:22,708
It's literally not in his DNA.

1618
01:04:22,833 --> 01:04:24,041
Well, that's bullshit.

1619
01:04:25,375 --> 01:04:26,333
I'll prove it.

1620
01:04:31,500 --> 01:04:32,500
Hey.

1621
01:04:35,083 --> 01:04:36,916
I love you, little man.

1622
01:04:37,041 --> 01:04:39,791
And I know you love me, too.

1623
01:04:39,916 --> 01:04:41,958
I don't know what you mean.

1624
01:04:42,083 --> 01:04:43,583
What does love mean?

1625
01:04:45,416 --> 01:04:46,958
It's in your heart.

1626
01:04:49,500 --> 01:04:51,833
Don't you feel anything
in your heart?

1627
01:04:51,958 --> 01:04:53,083
No?

1628
01:04:55,916 --> 01:04:58,958
Do you feel anything at all?

1629
01:04:59,083 --> 01:05:00,250
No.

1630
01:05:04,708 --> 01:05:06,125
I don't believe that.

1631
01:05:07,291 --> 01:05:10,250
So this isn't goodbye, okay?

1632
01:05:10,375 --> 01:05:11,791
I'll see you again real soon.

1633
01:05:14,416 --> 01:05:15,666
Up high.

1634
01:05:19,666 --> 01:05:20,875
Ah, come on.

1635
01:05:22,708 --> 01:05:23,666
Don't leave me hanging, dude.

1636
01:05:23,791 --> 01:05:24,875
Not now.

1637
01:05:27,000 --> 01:05:28,083
Please.

1638
01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:33,083
CJ!

1639
01:05:34,666 --> 01:05:36,000
Lu--Lucas.

1640
01:05:47,041 --> 01:05:48,041
Lucas, let's go.

1641
01:06:04,708 --> 01:06:06,125
Lucas, get in the van.

1642
01:06:19,875 --> 01:06:21,000
<i>♪ This is the rhythm
of the night ♪</i>

1643
01:06:21,125 --> 01:06:23,166
How do you like me now?

1644
01:06:23,291 --> 01:06:25,083
Ooh! Ooh!

1645
01:06:33,541 --> 01:06:36,083
Oh, did I get him?

1646
01:06:36,208 --> 01:06:38,500
Did... did I look cool?

1647
01:06:38,625 --> 01:06:40,083
No.

1648
01:06:40,208 --> 01:06:44,833
But you distracted him,
and then Jeff took him out.

1649
01:06:44,958 --> 01:06:46,916
Oh.

1650
01:06:47,041 --> 01:06:50,666
Hey, Lucas, I'm sorry.

1651
01:06:50,791 --> 01:06:52,666
Look, I'm just...

1652
01:06:52,791 --> 01:06:58,000
I just may not be the dad
you... you need or you...

1653
01:06:58,125 --> 01:06:59,875
I mean, the one you really want.

1654
01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:01,166
What do you mean?

1655
01:07:01,291 --> 01:07:02,375
I'm not young.

1656
01:07:03,541 --> 01:07:04,541
You know, I'm not badass.

1657
01:07:04,666 --> 01:07:06,416
I'm just not a...

1658
01:07:06,541 --> 01:07:09,125
You are my dad.

1659
01:07:09,250 --> 01:07:11,083
I don't want you
to change at all.

1660
01:07:13,041 --> 01:07:13,875
You don't?

1661
01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:14,958
No.

1662
01:07:16,333 --> 01:07:20,583
I have you, right?

1663
01:07:20,708 --> 01:07:21,916
Right.

1664
01:07:29,041 --> 01:07:31,583
Hey, Jeff, should I tie him up
and torture his ass

1665
01:07:31,708 --> 01:07:33,083
like we did
with the fat leprechaun?

1666
01:07:33,208 --> 01:07:34,333
Would you?

1667
01:07:34,458 --> 01:07:35,500
I need a moment to recover

1668
01:07:35,625 --> 01:07:38,041
from your dad's
gut-wrenching betrayal.

1669
01:07:38,166 --> 01:07:40,500
I'm--I'm really sorry,
all right?

1670
01:07:40,625 --> 01:07:42,083
Doesn't matter.

1671
01:07:42,208 --> 01:07:43,125
I failed.

1672
01:07:43,250 --> 01:07:44,791
You--you didn't fail him.

1673
01:07:44,916 --> 01:07:45,958
We gotta go get him.

1674
01:07:46,083 --> 01:07:48,125
Didn't you hear what he said?

1675
01:07:48,250 --> 01:07:49,250
He doesn't care about me.

1676
01:07:49,375 --> 01:07:51,000
Okay, so that's it.

1677
01:07:51,125 --> 01:07:53,000
After all we've been through?

1678
01:07:53,125 --> 01:07:54,208
Whatever.

1679
01:07:54,333 --> 01:07:55,458
He doesn't want me
to come get him.

1680
01:07:55,583 --> 01:07:58,041
Of course he wants you to come.

1681
01:07:58,166 --> 01:07:59,833
Listen to me.
Hey! Listen to me!

1682
01:07:59,958 --> 01:08:02,208
You're not your dad.
Okay?

1683
01:08:02,333 --> 01:08:03,166
You know how I know this?

1684
01:08:05,333 --> 01:08:08,416
I know you got heart.

1685
01:08:08,541 --> 01:08:09,833
Careful, Bri.

1686
01:08:11,166 --> 01:08:12,375
You're starting to talk
like we're best friends.

1687
01:08:12,500 --> 01:08:14,083
Nah, closer but...

1688
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:25,125
It's your phone.

1689
01:08:26,583 --> 01:08:28,708
Lucas, w--where's the tracker?

1690
01:08:28,833 --> 01:08:31,083
Well, it's in my hood--

1691
01:08:31,208 --> 01:08:32,208
CJ has it.

1692
01:08:32,333 --> 01:08:33,166
I thought you shut it off?

1693
01:08:33,291 --> 01:08:35,041
I did.

1694
01:08:35,166 --> 01:08:36,458
You know what this means?

1695
01:08:36,583 --> 01:08:38,166
- What?
- Why don't you tell him, Luke?

1696
01:08:38,291 --> 01:08:39,625
It means he turned
the tracker on

1697
01:08:39,750 --> 01:08:41,125
because he wants you
to go save him.

1698
01:08:42,333 --> 01:08:43,750
How do we know
that's what he wants?

1699
01:08:43,875 --> 01:08:45,083
Because you're his dad.

1700
01:08:47,500 --> 01:08:48,375
Damn right, I am.

1701
01:09:07,541 --> 01:09:08,791
Oh, this is where you worked?

1702
01:09:08,916 --> 01:09:10,583
- Mm-hm.
- It's like a lab.

1703
01:09:10,708 --> 01:09:12,000
Why would they bring him
back here?

1704
01:09:12,125 --> 01:09:13,625
This guy's a freaking nerd.

1705
01:09:21,500 --> 01:09:23,208
Lucas, I need you to stay
in the van

1706
01:09:23,333 --> 01:09:25,500
and lock the door, okay?

1707
01:09:25,625 --> 01:09:27,833
Lucas, I want to keep
you safe, all right?

1708
01:09:27,958 --> 01:09:30,166
That's the most important thing
to me, okay?

1709
01:09:30,291 --> 01:09:34,583
Okay, but you're gonna
come back, though, right?

1710
01:09:34,708 --> 01:09:36,208
Of course we're coming back.

1711
01:09:36,333 --> 01:09:37,541
Right, Jeff?

1712
01:09:37,666 --> 01:09:38,750
Both of us?

1713
01:09:39,833 --> 01:09:41,833
Sure.

1714
01:09:41,958 --> 01:09:43,125
Let's do this.

1715
01:09:51,375 --> 01:09:52,291
Oh.

1716
01:09:53,750 --> 01:09:54,708
Really?

1717
01:09:54,833 --> 01:09:56,125
Quit screwing around.

1718
01:10:03,458 --> 01:10:05,416
Hey,
why--why is the door open?

1719
01:10:05,541 --> 01:10:07,375
It's like they're expecting us.

1720
01:10:35,625 --> 01:10:37,625
I don't know.
What are you doing?

1721
01:10:37,750 --> 01:10:38,666
Split up
and cover more ground.

1722
01:10:38,791 --> 01:10:39,791
You gotta say that to me, okay?

1723
01:10:39,916 --> 01:10:41,333
That's what I just said.
I was--

1724
01:10:41,458 --> 01:10:42,333
You didn't.
with your freaking hands.

1725
01:10:42,458 --> 01:10:44,041
- I did not--
- Stop with the hands.

1726
01:11:16,333 --> 01:11:17,958
- Oh, my God!
- Hi.

1727
01:11:18,083 --> 01:11:21,083
CJ, you scared the crap
out of me.

1728
01:11:21,208 --> 01:11:22,458
That's a weird outfit.

1729
01:11:22,583 --> 01:11:24,958
Well, that's easier
than I thought.

1730
01:11:25,083 --> 01:11:27,041
Let's call your dad.

1731
01:11:27,166 --> 01:11:29,291
- <i>Hey, what's up?
-</i> Found CJ, huh?

1732
01:11:29,416 --> 01:11:31,125
How about that, huh?

1733
01:11:31,250 --> 01:11:32,291
- <i>How's that possible?
-</i> What are you talking about?

1734
01:11:32,416 --> 01:11:35,250
What, you think you're the only
one that could be the, uh...

1735
01:11:35,375 --> 01:11:36,541
hero?

1736
01:11:39,541 --> 01:11:42,125
Wait, there's two CJs?

1737
01:11:42,250 --> 01:11:43,166
This is insane.

1738
01:11:45,000 --> 01:11:46,750
Which one's ours?

1739
01:11:46,875 --> 01:11:48,208
I don't know.

1740
01:11:50,458 --> 01:11:51,791
Hey, little dudes.

1741
01:11:51,916 --> 01:11:53,916
Which one of you two
is my little guy?

1742
01:11:55,625 --> 01:11:57,416
Whoa, whoa, hey! Guys! Guys!

1743
01:11:57,541 --> 01:12:00,166
Hey, chill!

1744
01:12:00,291 --> 01:12:01,250
Bitch!

1745
01:12:12,250 --> 01:12:13,375
That was a little excessive, huh?

1746
01:12:13,500 --> 01:12:15,000
It was self-defense!

1747
01:12:18,666 --> 01:12:19,625
What are they, possessed?

1748
01:12:19,750 --> 01:12:20,916
No, no, I'm not...

1749
01:12:21,041 --> 01:12:22,125
I don't like
where this is going.

1750
01:12:22,250 --> 01:12:23,791
I'm out.

1751
01:12:23,916 --> 01:12:25,125
Oh, gosh.

1752
01:12:26,833 --> 01:12:27,958
What the hell.

1753
01:12:30,041 --> 01:12:33,083
Oh, come on.

1754
01:12:34,333 --> 01:12:35,791
- Okay.
- Nope.

1755
01:12:36,958 --> 01:12:41,208
No. No. No.

1756
01:12:45,416 --> 01:12:47,458
What the hell is going on here?

1757
01:12:47,583 --> 01:12:48,958
All right,
everyone needs to just relax.

1758
01:12:49,083 --> 01:12:51,708
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
- Relax! Relax.

1759
01:12:51,833 --> 01:12:53,125
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

1760
01:12:53,250 --> 01:12:54,250
Go, go, go, go!

1761
01:12:57,875 --> 01:12:59,708
- No!
- Sorry.

1762
01:12:59,833 --> 01:13:01,750
Ah, you gotta help me!

1763
01:13:01,875 --> 01:13:03,291
- Sorry.
- He's biting me.

1764
01:13:04,791 --> 01:13:06,458
Jeff, I can't see.
Get him off!

1765
01:13:07,666 --> 01:13:08,750
I'm so sorry.

1766
01:13:08,875 --> 01:13:10,416
Why are you apologizing?

1767
01:13:10,541 --> 01:13:12,375
For beating the shit
out of little versions of me.

1768
01:13:13,666 --> 01:13:15,083
I have no one
to talk to about it.

1769
01:13:15,208 --> 01:13:16,583
Stop it! Stop it!
I don't like that.

1770
01:13:16,708 --> 01:13:18,291
Just punch him and apologize.

1771
01:13:19,458 --> 01:13:22,666
I'm so sorry.
I'm very sorry.

1772
01:13:22,791 --> 01:13:23,791
Oh, God.

1773
01:13:28,291 --> 01:13:30,166
I can't believe
they cloned that many.

1774
01:13:30,291 --> 01:13:31,541
What assholes.

1775
01:13:31,666 --> 01:13:32,541
There's a lot of them.

1776
01:13:37,166 --> 01:13:39,000
You, uh...

1777
01:13:39,125 --> 01:13:40,166
You hear that?

1778
01:13:40,291 --> 01:13:41,708
Yeah.

1779
01:13:41,833 --> 01:13:42,916
What is that?

1780
01:13:43,041 --> 01:13:45,250
I don't know.

1781
01:13:45,375 --> 01:13:46,458
A T-rex?

1782
01:14:08,083 --> 01:14:11,250
Oh... Oh... Oh, my God!

1783
01:14:11,375 --> 01:14:13,500
Get some! Get some!

1784
01:14:17,166 --> 01:14:19,208
Oh, shit.

1785
01:14:30,041 --> 01:14:31,375
No, no, no, no!

1786
01:14:46,666 --> 01:14:48,166
Thelma and Louise?

1787
01:14:50,416 --> 01:14:51,416
We have to hold hands?

1788
01:14:51,541 --> 01:14:53,375
Yeah, we gotta hold hands.

1789
01:15:08,291 --> 01:15:09,416
What the hell.

1790
01:15:29,875 --> 01:15:31,750
It's like they got
dog collars on, look at...

1791
01:15:31,875 --> 01:15:33,333
Look at them.

1792
01:15:33,458 --> 01:15:36,041
It's an electric fence.
They can't get past here.

1793
01:15:36,166 --> 01:15:38,208
It's incredible.

1794
01:15:38,333 --> 01:15:40,458
Yes!

1795
01:15:42,375 --> 01:15:44,166
Idiots! What's up now?

1796
01:15:44,291 --> 01:15:45,375
- Yeah, now!
- What's up now?

1797
01:15:45,500 --> 01:15:46,666
What's up now?

1798
01:15:46,791 --> 01:15:49,416
- Suck it!
- Yeah! That's what he said!

1799
01:15:51,375 --> 01:15:53,166
Okay, okay.

1800
01:15:55,666 --> 01:15:56,833
Hey, Bri.

1801
01:15:56,958 --> 01:15:58,125
Remember what Jenny
said to Forrest

1802
01:15:58,250 --> 01:15:59,166
when he was gimping around

1803
01:15:59,291 --> 01:16:01,833
with those metal things
on his legs?

1804
01:16:01,958 --> 01:16:03,083
No.

1805
01:16:05,791 --> 01:16:07,708
Run, Forrest! Run!

1806
01:16:11,666 --> 01:16:12,625
God.

1807
01:16:14,625 --> 01:16:15,666
Ugh.

1808
01:16:15,791 --> 01:16:17,583
‘Sup dawg?

1809
01:16:21,125 --> 01:16:22,333
Hello, Jeff.

1810
01:16:24,541 --> 01:16:26,875
Lucas! Lucas!

1811
01:16:27,000 --> 01:16:28,041
- We gotta go!
- Dad!

1812
01:16:28,166 --> 01:16:30,208
- We gotta go!
- Wh--what's happening?

1813
01:16:30,333 --> 01:16:31,333
Where's Jeff?

1814
01:16:33,083 --> 01:16:35,041
Colonel?

1815
01:16:35,166 --> 01:16:36,750
What are you doing
with this freakin' nerd?

1816
01:16:36,875 --> 01:16:37,916
Why don't you just shut
your face, you loser.

1817
01:16:38,041 --> 01:16:39,250
I own a Bugatti, okay?

1818
01:16:39,375 --> 01:16:41,000
I get tons of hot chicks now.

1819
01:16:41,125 --> 01:16:43,750
I see you two have become pals.

1820
01:16:43,875 --> 01:16:45,583
What the hell's going on here?

1821
01:16:45,708 --> 01:16:49,750
Well, after all you've done
for us, Jeff,

1822
01:16:49,875 --> 01:16:51,166
you deserve some answers now.

1823
01:16:51,291 --> 01:16:53,916
Yeah. Why'd you do this to me?

1824
01:16:54,041 --> 01:16:57,458
Because you were
my perfect soldier.

1825
01:16:57,583 --> 01:17:00,166
A true physical specimen.

1826
01:17:00,291 --> 01:17:04,666
But do you know
what your kryptonite is?

1827
01:17:04,791 --> 01:17:06,166
Gefilte fish?

1828
01:17:06,291 --> 01:17:10,125
You have too much... empathy.

1829
01:17:14,833 --> 01:17:18,500
CJ. You okay?

1830
01:17:20,958 --> 01:17:23,541
See, son,
you weren't the only soldier

1831
01:17:23,666 --> 01:17:27,583
to let your country down
in the field.

1832
01:17:27,708 --> 01:17:29,041
Soldiers get tired.

1833
01:17:30,625 --> 01:17:34,666
They get afraid
and start to have feelings.

1834
01:17:34,791 --> 01:17:38,833
Well, I needed
to fix that problem.

1835
01:17:38,958 --> 01:17:42,416
So when I stumbled
upon Simon's genius here...

1836
01:17:42,541 --> 01:17:44,250
Genius, bitch.

1837
01:17:44,375 --> 01:17:49,208
Even Simon didn't realize what
his technology could create.

1838
01:17:49,333 --> 01:17:53,000
It could create
the perfect genetic soldier.

1839
01:17:53,125 --> 01:17:57,791
All we needed
was your superior DNA.

1840
01:17:57,916 --> 01:17:59,666
Random drug tests.

1841
01:17:59,791 --> 01:18:02,500
You were our ideal candidate,
Jeff.

1842
01:18:02,625 --> 01:18:05,500
So you're telling me
all those little guys out there

1843
01:18:05,625 --> 01:18:08,833
are going to be super soldiers?

1844
01:18:10,583 --> 01:18:15,083
Each one designed
to never get tired.

1845
01:18:15,208 --> 01:18:17,583
And now for one final test.

1846
01:18:21,875 --> 01:18:24,125
Go ahead, CJ.

1847
01:18:24,250 --> 01:18:26,041
Do what you were trained to do.

1848
01:18:27,958 --> 01:18:31,291
Sergeant Eamon,
thank you for your service.

1849
01:18:38,083 --> 01:18:40,458
CJ...listen, man.

1850
01:18:42,000 --> 01:18:44,458
Yeah, I...

1851
01:18:44,583 --> 01:18:46,791
you're not a machine.

1852
01:18:46,916 --> 01:18:49,625
You know how I know that?

1853
01:18:49,750 --> 01:18:51,791
Because if we're the same,

1854
01:18:51,916 --> 01:18:53,916
it means we got the same heart.

1855
01:19:02,708 --> 01:19:04,291
Fuck!

1856
01:19:13,541 --> 01:19:16,583
<i>♪ Everybody wants you ♪</i>

1857
01:19:16,708 --> 01:19:20,458
<i>♪ Everybody wants your love ♪</i>

1858
01:19:20,583 --> 01:19:23,208
<i>♪ I'd just like to make
you mine... ♪</i>

1859
01:19:28,208 --> 01:19:30,625
<i>♪ Na-na, na-na, na-na,
na-na-na-na now ♪</i>

1860
01:19:30,750 --> 01:19:32,166
<i>♪ Baby, give it up ♪</i>

1861
01:19:32,291 --> 01:19:33,291
<i>♪ Give it up ♪</i>

1862
01:19:33,416 --> 01:19:35,833
<i>♪ Baby, give it up ♪</i>

1863
01:19:35,958 --> 01:19:38,166
<i>♪ Na-na, na-na, na-na,
na-na-na-na now ♪</i>

1864
01:19:38,291 --> 01:19:40,000
<i>♪ Baby, give it up ♪</i>

1865
01:19:40,125 --> 01:19:41,250
<i>♪ Give it up ♪</i>

1866
01:19:41,375 --> 01:19:43,125
<i>♪ Baby, give it up ♪</i>

1867
01:19:51,250 --> 01:19:54,958
<i>♪ Everybody sees you ♪</i>

1868
01:19:55,083 --> 01:19:57,916
<i>♪ Everybody looks and stares ♪</i>

1869
01:20:01,625 --> 01:20:03,625
<i>♪ Na-na, na-na, na-na,
na-na-na-na now ♪</i>

1870
01:20:03,750 --> 01:20:05,041
<i>♪ Baby, give it up ♪</i>

1871
01:20:05,166 --> 01:20:06,416
<i>♪ Give it up ♪</i>

1872
01:20:06,541 --> 01:20:08,750
<i>♪ Baby, give it up ♪</i>

1873
01:20:08,875 --> 01:20:11,291
<i>♪ Na-na, na-na, na-na,
na-na-na-na now ♪</i>

1874
01:20:11,416 --> 01:20:12,750
<i>♪ Baby, give it up ♪</i>

1875
01:20:12,875 --> 01:20:14,125
<i>♪ Give it up ♪</i>

1876
01:20:14,250 --> 01:20:16,333
<i>♪ Baby, give it up ♪</i>

1877
01:20:27,208 --> 01:20:29,791
You broke my heart.

1878
01:20:29,916 --> 01:20:31,750
Ha-ha.
How do you like me now?!

1879
01:20:31,875 --> 01:20:33,041
<i>♪ This is the rhythm
of the night ♪</i>

1880
01:20:33,166 --> 01:20:34,416
Ooh!

1881
01:20:37,000 --> 01:20:38,041
Did I get him?

1882
01:20:38,166 --> 01:20:39,333
Ooh.

1883
01:20:44,041 --> 01:20:46,666
How'd I do?

1884
01:20:46,791 --> 01:20:48,416
Did I look cool?

1885
01:20:48,541 --> 01:20:50,041
You did, Dad.

1886
01:20:50,166 --> 01:20:51,916
And you looked badass.

1887
01:20:52,041 --> 01:20:53,625
Yeah, I did.

1888
01:20:57,916 --> 01:21:00,583
We did it, little guy.

1889
01:21:00,708 --> 01:21:01,666
Up high.

1890
01:21:13,250 --> 01:21:16,833
<i>♪ How to keep your love away? ♪</i>

1891
01:21:21,416 --> 01:21:22,583
Best friends, Bri?

1892
01:21:24,375 --> 01:21:26,208
Best friends, Bri-Bri.

1893
01:21:34,708 --> 01:21:36,250
How are we gonna get home?

1894
01:21:38,166 --> 01:21:41,083
We don't have a car.

1895
01:21:41,208 --> 01:21:43,416
I guess we'll just have
to steal another one, huh?

1896
01:21:43,541 --> 01:21:45,583
Attaboy, Bri.

1897
01:21:45,708 --> 01:21:47,000
Hey, one second.

1898
01:21:47,125 --> 01:21:48,083
What are we gonna do
with all those

1899
01:21:48,208 --> 01:21:49,833
psycho killing machines
in there?

1900
01:21:51,041 --> 01:21:52,250
Kaboom, bitch!

1901
01:21:58,375 --> 01:22:00,666
<i>♪ Let's go! ♪</i>

1902
01:22:00,791 --> 01:22:03,791
<i>♪ Ah-hah, yeah ♪</i>

1903
01:22:03,916 --> 01:22:06,541
<i>♪ Come on, ha-ha ♪</i>

1904
01:22:06,666 --> 01:22:08,666
<i>♪ Yeah ♪</i>

1905
01:22:08,791 --> 01:22:11,041
<i>♪ Got my picture on the wall
like a VIP ♪</i>

1906
01:22:11,166 --> 01:22:13,583
<i>♪ next to the no-check sign
that's just me ♪</i>

1907
01:22:13,708 --> 01:22:16,750
<i>♪ Tell me, what a loser ♪</i>

1908
01:22:21,875 --> 01:22:24,458
<i>♪ Tune in for the revolution ♪</i>

1909
01:22:35,375 --> 01:22:36,291
Hey.

1910
01:22:36,416 --> 01:22:37,791
Butthead.

1911
01:22:37,916 --> 01:22:39,125
I've been meaning to ask you.

1912
01:22:39,250 --> 01:22:41,250
I'm so sorry.

1913
01:22:41,375 --> 01:22:42,291
You know what they say?

1914
01:22:42,416 --> 01:22:44,416
{\an8}Sorry.

1915
01:22:46,833 --> 01:22:48,291
I'm not back in town, Bri!

1916
01:22:49,583 --> 01:22:51,625
He's a very dangerous
12-year-old.

1917
01:22:51,750 --> 01:22:52,833
- All right.
- Yeah.

1918
01:22:54,333 --> 01:22:56,041
Not a good idea, Bri-Bri.

1919
01:22:56,166 --> 01:22:58,041
Hey, what's up?

1920
01:23:04,208 --> 01:23:05,291
What?

1921
01:23:06,583 --> 01:23:08,791
- I'm sorry.
- Damn it!

1922
01:23:08,916 --> 01:23:10,458
- Are you insane?
- Am I insane?

1923
01:23:10,583 --> 01:23:12,708
You're absolutely back crap--!

1924
01:23:12,833 --> 01:23:15,125
- I'm back crap?
- You're back crap.

1925
01:23:19,291 --> 01:23:21,375
<i>♪ You was always hot ♪</i>

1926
01:23:21,500 --> 01:23:22,875
<i>♪ The rhymes
were always tighter ♪</i>

1927
01:23:23,000 --> 01:23:24,416
Like what?

1928
01:23:24,541 --> 01:23:25,916
Well, first of all,
how about tanning cream

1929
01:23:26,041 --> 01:23:27,458
and bikini underwear?

1930
01:23:27,583 --> 01:23:29,041
That's another problem.

1931
01:23:30,625 --> 01:23:32,583
Hold up.

1932
01:23:32,708 --> 01:23:34,333
What are you gonna do
about all those psycho family?

1933
01:23:34,458 --> 01:23:35,958
What are those names called?
What are they called?

1934
01:23:36,083 --> 01:23:37,208
- Psycho family.
- What are they?

1935
01:23:37,333 --> 01:23:38,833
Hold up.

1936
01:23:38,958 --> 01:23:40,333
What are you gonna do
?

1937
01:23:42,000 --> 01:23:43,708
Can you believe
he's still mad at me

1938
01:23:43,833 --> 01:23:45,541
{\an8}for something
that happened 30 years ago?

1939
01:23:47,250 --> 01:23:49,750
{\an8}Did you take my parking spot,
Brian?

1940
01:23:49,875 --> 01:23:51,000
Beep!

1941
01:23:52,208 --> 01:23:53,666
Guys, I made my own beep sound.

1942
01:23:55,125 --> 01:23:57,041
That's an all-time low,
even for my acting.

1943
01:23:57,166 --> 01:23:59,791
You cool with just one Bri?

1944
01:23:59,916 --> 01:24:01,458
What is it?
You cool if I just call you...

1945
01:24:01,583 --> 01:24:03,125
Damn it.

1946
01:24:03,250 --> 01:24:04,833
You co... You co... You...

1947
01:24:04,958 --> 01:24:06,416
How about just one Bri?
How about just one Bri?

1948
01:24:06,541 --> 01:24:07,458
Cool?
How about just one Bri?

1949
01:24:07,583 --> 01:24:08,583
Cool?
Yeah, okay.

1950
01:24:08,708 --> 01:24:10,250
Ugh.

1951
01:24:14,208 --> 01:24:16,000
Oh, hey!

1952
01:24:16,125 --> 01:24:18,083
{\an8}Look at that list of
super fun stuff I made for me.

1953
01:24:18,208 --> 01:24:20,416
{\an8}It's CJ and me to do now
that CJ's mom went tits-up.

1954
01:24:22,333 --> 01:24:23,166
Damn it, man.

1955
01:24:26,708 --> 01:24:27,666
Buckle in, boys.

1956
01:24:27,791 --> 01:24:29,291
Hey, what are you doing?

1957
01:24:29,416 --> 01:24:30,250
There's different kids
back there.

1958
01:24:32,916 --> 01:24:34,291
{\an8}Now we're really screwed.

1959
01:24:34,416 --> 01:24:35,416
{\an8}We got different kids
all this time.

1960
01:24:35,541 --> 01:24:36,875
{\an8}You keep forgetting the kids!

1961
01:24:37,000 --> 01:24:38,666
Hold up.

1962
01:24:38,791 --> 01:24:39,666
What are we gonna do
about all those

1963
01:24:39,791 --> 01:24:41,833
psycho killing machines
in there?

1964
01:24:43,791 --> 01:24:45,375
You have the same problem
I do.

1965
01:24:48,416 --> 01:24:49,416
Oh, I almost dropped this.

1966
01:24:54,375 --> 01:24:55,416
Clear! Clear!

1967
01:24:59,958 --> 01:25:02,083
Yo, Hunt. We'll get ‘em
next time, huh, bro?

1968
01:25:02,208 --> 01:25:03,250
Don't call me “bro,” dude.

1969
01:25:03,375 --> 01:25:04,916
Don't call me “bro,” son.

1970
01:25:06,833 --> 01:25:07,958
One guy died in my arms

1971
01:25:08,083 --> 01:25:09,833
while I slowly
watched him bleed out.

1972
01:25:09,958 --> 01:25:11,416
Sick, right?

1973
01:25:11,541 --> 01:25:12,500
I hate that.

1974
01:25:14,333 --> 01:25:16,208
Hiya!

1975
01:25:19,333 --> 01:25:21,416
I missed the door.

1976
01:25:21,541 --> 01:25:22,875
Sorry.

1977
01:25:23,000 --> 01:25:24,583
God.

1978
01:25:24,708 --> 01:25:26,708
Emily!
Hey, how you doing, sweetie?

1979
01:25:26,833 --> 01:25:28,416
<i>Oh, hi.
Is this Jeff?</i>

1980
01:25:28,541 --> 01:25:30,583
In the... flesh.

1981
01:25:33,250 --> 01:25:35,000
Hi, Em.
Is that me?

1982
01:25:35,125 --> 01:25:36,333
I'm waiting.
I don't want to...

1983
01:25:36,458 --> 01:25:37,833
- I screwed it up.
- I don't want to get--all right.

1984
01:25:37,958 --> 01:25:39,500
I was trying to come up
with something else.

1985
01:25:39,625 --> 01:25:41,541
Okay, get off. I smell your ass
in a raccoon hat [indistinct].

1986
01:25:46,916 --> 01:25:48,000
I didn't know
where to put my legs.

1987
01:25:48,125 --> 01:25:49,750
That was a very weird one, man.

1988
01:25:51,916 --> 01:25:52,833
Ow!

1989
01:25:56,583 --> 01:25:59,041
So? Tell me about the playdate.

1990
01:25:59,166 --> 01:26:00,375
Lucas said it was, like,

1991
01:26:00,500 --> 01:26:02,083
literally the best day
of his whole entire life.

1992
01:26:02,208 --> 01:26:03,833
Well,
it was definitely something.

1993
01:26:07,083 --> 01:26:08,291
Bri-Bri!

1994
01:26:08,416 --> 01:26:09,250
Jeff, what the hell
are you doing?

1995
01:26:09,375 --> 01:26:10,583
It's two o'clock in the morning.

1996
01:26:10,708 --> 01:26:11,625
You didn't give me an address,

1997
01:26:11,750 --> 01:26:13,458
so I had to knock
on a lot of doors.

1998
01:26:13,583 --> 01:26:14,791
You're never gonna guess
what happened.

1999
01:26:14,916 --> 01:26:15,958
I don't feel like guessing.

2000
01:26:16,083 --> 01:26:17,250
- Oh, guess.
- I don't want to guess.

2001
01:26:17,375 --> 01:26:18,500
- Oh, just guess.
- I'm not--

2002
01:26:18,625 --> 01:26:20,041
- I'm not guessing.
- Guess.

2003
01:26:20,166 --> 01:26:23,416
You stole another minivan.

2004
01:26:23,541 --> 01:26:24,583
What?

2005
01:26:24,708 --> 01:26:26,291
That's a stupid guess.
No.

2006
01:26:26,416 --> 01:26:27,875
They burned our house down.

2007
01:26:28,000 --> 01:26:29,125
Who, Maddox?

2008
01:26:29,250 --> 01:26:31,208
No, totally different group
of bad people.

2009
01:26:31,333 --> 01:26:32,250
I'll tell you all about it.

2010
01:26:32,375 --> 01:26:33,250
Let's go, CJ.

2011
01:26:33,375 --> 01:26:34,208
I call top bunk.

2012
01:26:34,333 --> 01:26:35,208
Bottom.



